Normally I would thank the wonderful sites I have discovered on Thursdays, but I am so excited about this one I couldn't wait. This week, I came across something that struck me really hard. I am a Mindful Mama. I am the 3rd type through and through. The amount of guilt I carry about wanting to do my own things is quite heavy. After all, I chose everything that I have and I love what I have chosen--being a stay at home mama, unschooling my children, and structuring my days to make sure they are able to experience as much as possible, enriching their lives and as a by-product, enriching mine. Which it has.
But there is still a yearning. A longing. A strong desire to unwrap and just be MJ--a writer, a dancer, a yogi, a gardener, a crocheter, a sewer, a musician, a chicken farmer, and a damn good cook. I am about half those things as of today, and I want more.
As my mom would say, "your time will come". Actually, she use to say "Oh when the kids are in school, you'll have all this time to do what you want." Well, uh, I fixed that theory up huh, Mom? And the paradox is that I wouldn't change anything, other than having 36 hours in a day rather than 24.
"Just be content and stay present" is usually what I tell myself. After all, my kids and I deserve that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with "content", but when passion flows into your life, "content" is sent adrift and becomes more elusive. Passion brings life to living, and there is nothing wrong with that either.
Thank you Monica, for your wonderful words and site...