"We are all wanderers on this earth...our hearts are full of wonder, and our souls are deep with dreams." ~ Gypsy proverb

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

"Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget. " ~ Unknown

There is so much pleasure in getting to know new people. As much as we miss many of our old friends who are far away, the delight in the new is something to speak of. I, personally, have learned more about true friendships since we started unschooling, and I believe the kids have too.

While they were in school, there was a social convenience. Yes, they were with kids everyday. But, the social convenience is a crapshoot. We had no idea what their interactions were like, who they were meeting or playing with, and what they were learning from these other kids, let alone the teachers. I know some may think this is the best way to socialize, but I had a hard time believing my 6 year old could navigate the complicated waters of people, relationships, and interactions in his short life. Here is a truth I have learned: kids learn more by what they are modeled than what they are told. In school, I left that model up to complete strangers for 6 hours a day. Whatever modeling we did at home, was overshadowed by the sheer dominance of time school had over the kids' lives. It felt wrong and it took little time to prove my intuition as my relationships with them began to suffer.

What we have found is that we would trade that convenience exponentially any day, for the opportunity to meet people with true integrity, kindness, a giving heart, and a similar respect for and from their children.  Though there may be greater effort in establishing these kinds of friendships, these are the qualities worth seeking, worth modeling. True friendships are difficult to cultivate, but it is my hope that with patience, authenticity, and a whole lot more of love and kindness, we will be just fine...

1 comment:

  1. "In school, I left that model up to complete strangers for 6 hours a day. "

    just what i think to myself. i'm not a natural mother, despite devotng myself to my girl. and there are many times i accept that i may send her to school. but as soon as i think of the points you have raised, it turns me off.


“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
~ George Bernard Shaw