"We are all wanderers on this earth...our hearts are full of wonder, and our souls are deep with dreams." ~ Gypsy proverb

Thursday, March 31, 2011

The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want." ~ Ben Stein

Decisions, decisons.  Between E. and M.  possibly going back to school and our house receiving our first offer, my mind has been a little preoccupied this past week.  The little daily decisions we make that steer the course of our days seem effortless most of the time.  So when the "life-changers" come along, the sudden heaviness can be tough to take. 

When my son first proposed going back to Montessori, I had that heaviness hit me in a moment.  I knew his need to spend more time with peers was growing by the day.   Coordinating schedules with other homeschool families can be very challenging, especially when most families have children of multiple ages with multiple (and usually varying) needs.  While M. has no problems entertaining herself, E. prefers companionship and interaction.  I realized that school may be part of E.'s solution to try to meet that need.  I also knew he chose Montessori as he believed there was more freedom in learning with that choice, than public school.  M., well, I think she agreed to go along with her brother because he didn't want to go by himself.  She is just supportive that way :).

As unsure as I was of this idea, I decided I needed to trust. They should have the opportunity to go through this decision making process.  This part was hard for me of course.  It would have been so much simpler to convince them of MY reasons for why homeschooling was a better choice, and remind them of what they would be giving up.  It would have been easier, but I don't think it would have been fair.  They don't learn much if I make all the choices for them.  They already know what I believe, but they need to start trusting their own choices, with our guidance available always.

So, we moved forward.  We found an A.M.I. certified school, we went and toured the school, and we had two different meetings with the teachers.  It was a lovely place that had a chinchilla, 2 rats, finches, and a frog for pets.  The teachers seemed kind and knowledgeable, but I was more interested in seeing what the kids were curious about.  After those visits, I waited with baited breath to see what they had thought.  M., who never has issue with blurting out what she wants, let me know that going there a couple times a week would be okay, but that's it.  E. was more pensive, and I could see he was weighing the pros and cons in his mind.  He agreed with M., while it might be fun to be there part-time, it didn't seem right to be inside one room all day, every day, not for learning-- even if there were other kids there.  I spoke with the school about a part-time option, but there was none, not for their age group and not for this style of classroom.

Sometimes there is no such thing as the perfect choice, just the best choice based on what we know about ourselves and what we really want.  Not having exactly what we want should inspire us to create new choices and opportunities of our own, and I think for us, homeschooling gives us the freedom to do just that.  So now we do the work to find ways to meet our needs.  We feel inspired and have new resolve.   Homeschooling has never been the easiest choice, but it's definitely an empowering choice.  I think both kids may understand this better on some level now and they remain the happy, spirited beings they have always been.  As far as our house, we chose not to take the first offer.  Another opportunity will come again when the time is right :).

Thanks for all your thoughtful words and sharing this part of our journey with me :).

"Choosing to live your life by your own choices is the greatest freedom you will ever have." ~ Shad Helmstetter

17 comments:

  1. MJ, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I think being a mom is the toughest job in the world isn't it? And the most rewarding! I hope you receive the offer on your home that you desire and that life takes you where your dreams are.

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  2. Best wishes with your schooling and your house...Peace be with you...

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  3. best wishes with all those big decisions - the right solution is out there somewhere, it just takes some exploring and some trying and some thinking but I am sure it will come to you in time. with love x

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  4. *Sometimes there is no such thing as the perfect choice, just the best choice based on what we know about ourselves and what we really want.* Cheers to that lovely line and peace in your decision-making. It's so hard to be an adult and navigate through all this, isn't it?!?

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  5. Oh MJ, my thoughts are with you as you journey through these big decisions of life. I admire your reflection, thoughtfulness, and courage!

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  6. Lot's of things to ponder for you these days. I understand that tough decision to homeschool, we are still new to it so may be in a bit of a honeymoon phase, but I can't imagine going back. I love that you listened to you little ones and let them make the choice themselves.

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  7. What a wise mama. You never cease to get me thinking a little harder about our decisions. All these ups and downs. I'm sure the thing will show itself at exactly the right time. Thinking of you lots! <3 R

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  8. Your children sound like they have very mature minds. It's always good to explore all the opportunities before making a decision. The older I get the more I seem to want to live by this rule. Hope things become simpler again soon. x

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  9. So true! the first step is figuring out what you truly want...a good lesson that your kids are learning early on in life. What lucky kids to have freedom to make important choices!

    I love these quotes. I always post a different quote on Wednesdays and I think I'll add these two to my stash! (if you don't mind)

    http://aisforakari.blogspot.com/2011/02/provoke-and-ponder.html

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  10. As parents all of our choices are laced with doubt. Trust your heart and you will find the answer!! I love your quote!

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  11. Seems like you have had a pretty full week. Hoping the weekend is full of fun. Jacinta

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  12. I'm so glad to hear that there has been some resolution. I love the open, honest exchange your family seems to share over these things. It sounds like things are going as well as they can go! :)

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  13. YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!! This post made my day, a day late lol.. I am seeing how trusting in your kids choices and giving them the ability to explore all sides when there is a decision to be made is SUCH a great way to give them comfort in those very choices. If only we had more choices when we were kids, we might understand the importance of learning this very basic concept as young children. Kind of an AH HA moment and a DUH moment at the same time... I hope that some day you and hubs decide to write a book about all of these experiences in parenting. There is much to learn from you guys.

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  14. wow mama. yet again we are going through some similar ponderings (well not with home ownership, lol.) i have been investigating montessori schools for quinn this past week... not actually by his choice, but other circumstances. it all may amount to much ado about nothing, in the long run, but it sure has been a roller coaster ride to even look at schools. i couldn't agree more with your kids' take on how much inside-one-room-learning i can handle. lol. anyway, i don't have anything to add (you've said it all to a t) other than to yet again say i hear you, sister. can't help but hear you, i'm on such a similar path!

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  15. I had a very similar experience with my oldest daughter. She decided that she wanted to go to the same public school as her neighborhood friends, and I had to make a choice whether to resist or to embrace. I decided to embrace, and my daughter found her fill after less than 2 weeks. I was so happy to bring her back home, and our advneture has been better all over for the experience :))

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  16. You know, there probably never is the perfect choice in life but being open about any choice is the uphill part and I think you've made it. How wonderful that you could go with it but more so, your children amaze me. To know in their hearts what will work and to be able to express it, well my goodness, you're doing a wonderful job MJ!

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  17. Yay for you for guiding your children with such wisdom and grace. Letting them discover this on their own is really priceless.

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“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
~ George Bernard Shaw