"We are all wanderers on this earth...our hearts are full of wonder, and our souls are deep with dreams." ~ Gypsy proverb

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Keeping it real

It's true, joy pockets has been laid to rest. Mon has a new link-up at ink + chai that has a more balanced approach with recognizing the lows and well as the highs of our past week.

On many levels this does makes sense to me. Not that focusing on the positive isn't a good thing, but recognizing the lows keeps us human, and is often the springboard for appreciating the highs :). My only problem with this is my perfectionism defect. Perfectionists can take the lows pretty hard, or at least will try to fix them until exhaustion settles in. I know I have a high magnification when it comes to seeing flaws, problems, lows, which is why I think joy pockets were such a great exercise for me. I don't want to confuse negativity with perfectionism, they are two very different things. In fact, most perfectionists I know are extremely optimistic and can see the good in everything. But I think this is where the disconnect happens for the perfectionist in me. I believe so passionately that I can fix things, I can change them, make them better, turn everything into a good thing, that I confuse positivity with the desire to control everything.

I have no problem recognizing and acknowledging the lows, but can I embrace them? Can I let them live and breathe without needing to fix them or offer a silver lining?  I know I've done by best to be honest in these pages. I think I have shared with you many of my down times, stressed times, confused times, my lows...But if I shared all of it, I fear you may think me neurotic and obsessed. I am, neurotic and obsessed :). I am an optimistic, neurotic, and obsessed forever-recovering perfectionist, so here goes :).

Lows
stressed out about little details surrounding the move
feeling cramped
too much chocolate resulting in erupting pimples
feeling like a failure *more on this later*
feeling lonesome
feeling vulnerable
feeling "extra" in all the wrong places
missing my out-of-town hubs

Highs
hikes with my kids
my favorite pooch Parker being adopted :)
finding a new favorite at the shelter, a Boxer named Jamie
being tackled, hugged and kissed by my babes
care package from my mama
learning that the kids love thrifting too!
lego spinning top wars with the boy
getting the keys to our house today!!!
reading the beautiful maybe by Mel


Wishing you a weekend full of "let it be"-ness :)

xoxo

18 comments:

  1. <3

    s.
    http://hipandchips.blogspot.it/

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  2. I totally agree with your whole optimistic/perfectionist/neurotic analogy. Your lists are candid and honest and that's admirable.
    nice blog!

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  3. Yep, agreeing with Boho Mom. I love the candidness and we can always count on you for that.

    You didn't choose the easy way with the move, you chose the heart path. Sometimes more challenging and always more rewarding.
    XO

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  4. It seems I've come across a few posts in blogland over the week that point toward this exact sentiment: we don't always share our "real" selves on the page because a lot (or most of) the negative is left out.

    I get that, but I also know the bloggers I tend to read are human and flawed. I know there's bad days, scary moments, harsh thoughts (because I have them!), but I've grown to learn through my own blog that focusing on the positive over the negative is just a practice.

    This was my favorite sentence: "I believe so passionately that I can fix things, I can change them, make them better, turn everything into a good thing, that I confuse positivity with the desire to control everything."

    Let it be. The best mantra, no?!

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  5. Hello Angel
    I appreciate your humaness and vulnerability. You are by no means obsessive, just reflective. It is quite confusing sometimes being a soul in a physical body, we feel the burden of our self-manifested limitations, and then feel guilty for feeling sad, lonely, dis satisfied or 'peed' off. Part of the beauty of being a human being, is we have a plethora facets to our external and internal self. You quite literally need to sit in that canoe and let it take you through the rapids and then down the meandering streams.

    It is important to be honest with yourself, but also appologise to yourself for being too critical- in other words, hug yourself!

    You ARE a GODDESS- period

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    Replies
    1. Love the canoe visual, thanks Jo!
      xo

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  6. i struggle with that perfectionist thing too. sometimes i wish i could could that little (BIG) part of me out and throw it away but i know it's also a good thing in certain circumstances.

    stay strong mj - you're creating an amazing life for your sweet family!

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  7. oooh, i'm just like you. i hope you have a beautiful weekend settling in your new home. remember neurotic obsessed one, you have time to make that house a home. i'm six weeks in my new home and i've still got a lot to do. i will probably be done when it's time to move again. sigh... sending you a hug and hoping you have more highs than lows next week.

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  8. I am personally relieved when someone acknowledges the whole truth of being alive - I think being either wholly positive and uppy all the time or constantly whinging are equally kind of unreal. How can we know joy if we've never felt despair? How can we know esctatic states if we've never sunk really low? And sometimes life is so absurd as to be bitter-sweet - we simultaneously experience painful, horrid things and suffer them, but mixed in with that are joyful, wonderful things. Detaching a little from things needing to be perfect liberates us and takes some of the pressure off from living on an unsustainable high. We live in a world where sometimes kids die of bone cancer, people go on shooting sprees, tsunamis wipe thousands of souls out or people are wrongly imprisoned. To be going round super happy all the time when stuff like that happens would be unfeeling. yet there is so much beauty in the world, so much goodness, kindness, unselfishness, people working for the betterment of mankind. Being positive means allowing yourself to be honest when things are a bit sucky and having faith and courage to face things and try to be joyful most of the time, seeking positive and empowering solutions most of the time, and acknowledging the flaws in this beautiful, crazy life :-)

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  9. oh I forgot to say thanks so much for the awesome sticker - some juno mags to you yesterday dear mama! happy reading x

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  10. I've been in this town for almost 10 years now and even when I'm surrounded with those who love me, I sometimes feel a little lonesome too. The teapot is still waiting... whenever you feel ready.... and I want to add that in our home, people are welcome to show up as is... and not feel obligated to show up as their 'perfect' or 'optimistic' or 'happy' selves... we accept everyone as is. :)

    hug.

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  11. enjoy those babes dear mj, and the spectacular nature surrounding you, be gentle with your self and it will all be okay. sending big ((hugs))
    :)

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  12. You know what? I bet most people would feel relieved to hear about your obsessive neurotic tendencies, because we all have them too :) I think you are brave for putting it out there, and I think you'll be better for it in the long run. (even if the short run can be a little uncomfortable)

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  13. wonderful! we all appreciate the vulnerability.

    i would expect dramatic lows and highs during the period you're all in too.

    how cool that the kids love thrifting too. lol

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  14. Add me to the list of readers and friends who appreciate the openness and vulnerability. Many of your lows are things I know well, and I'll be sending love and support your way for whatever that's worth across this great distance.

    So glad you were able to see one of your favorite dogs leave for a happier home, and to enjoy thrifting with the kids. It seems that this is a great time of bonding for all of you, despite the challenges! Hooray for having the keys! Hopefully that opens you up for more highs as you settle into your new space and begin to feel more at home. <3

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  15. MJ, I am trying to catch up on posts I have misssed the last few days. I do hope your world is wonderful. Did you pick up the keys to your new home? I am hoping once you have more room, are more settled, that things will move along a little smoother for you allowing you to find your
    'center, your calm'. Take care my friend and remember to be kind to yourself.

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  16. Oh I am so obsessive and neurotic, and don't get me started on my perfectionist tendencies! While it is exhausting it also helps me see things I think others miss. I love how open you are, it helps me connect and I truly believe the world needs more connection. You are real, because of your lows, and that my friend is a beautiful thing. xoxo

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  17. "I confuse positivity with the desire to control everything." When I read that I thought - That's what I do!! Totally. Oh yes. Nothing has magnified this more in me than being a mama. But nothing is better (or more constant) practice for letting things be.

    You're awesome - thanks for sharing. ;)

    xo
    cortnie

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“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
~ George Bernard Shaw