"We are all wanderers on this earth...our hearts are full of wonder, and our souls are deep with dreams." ~ Gypsy proverb

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Uncharted territory

Don't be fooled. This is a picture of what I am not knitting, and what I am not reading. I am not knitting my sweater that I started nearly two months ago. You can see that it is no where near finished or even no where near my size. It is about 2 sizes too big and the armholes are two different sizes. I am thinking about frogging the whole thing and starting over, some day.

And the book I am not reading is Lucy Maude Montgomery's Selected Journals Volume I (1889- 1910). If you enjoyed any part of the Anne of Green Gables' series, the author's journals are an insightful and delightful look into her own life, providing an exemplary blueprint for the beloved character known as Anne. But I am not reading it right now or the other book Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke, which I was moderately enjoying and anticipating would get better, if I was still reading.

So what am I doing then, if I am not doing two of my favorite things?

eating this

watching this

anticipating this

listening to this

feeling this:

And wanting more of this:

I think it is in these instances when we should be careful in trying to define ourselves by what we "do". I am a knitter that is not knitting, a reader that is not reading, a blogger who is not blogging very much. I am not photographing, barely journaling or writing.

It feels a bit unstable when all the things that surrounded and described me before are no longer marking my daily me-ness. Moving has certainly changed circumstances, but I think my point is that it can be dangerous getting too comfortable in thinking we know who we are. Breaking the walls of familiarity means there is freedom in not being bound by definition. Like water I can carve new corners, and know that I am as free as any wide-eyed gypsy looking for a new tune to dance to. The sparks of possibility fly like fireworks, expanding the sky and shattering what I thought was normal. Normal, suddenly, has no definition at all.

There will come a day when these bones won't keep up with the thoughts and dreams that scatter around this head. So I encourage myself, and anyone else who's game, to resist normal, resist definition, resist thinking that today is just like any other day, and that you are exactly who you think you are....There will always be uncharted territories to seek and discover within, and all around us.

From one of my all time favorite movies:

Rip out that page!!!!



  1. MJ - so well said - I take such comfort in reading this post today. My sweater I started is sitting still - not been touched in a couple of weeks - my blog is beyond behind and I don't feel like I am doing what I usually am doing. Then I remind myself that is ok - everything ebbs and flows. We don't do what we do ALL the time. We too are going through a process - the moving process and that has affect. Your family is going through a big adjustment and really exploring a whole new world. There is a time and place for all that we do and we do just need to be ok with it. I just reminded a friend today as she was planning a big part of her life that it is not just the end goal - but to enjoy the process of getting there. Soak it all in while we can and whatever is in front of us at the moment. cheymcglue@gmail.com - so we can meet up after we return.xo

  2. oh em gee...robin williams and ethan hawke were soooo young. was it really that long ago???

    btw, i love that you're like water and can carve new corners. i love that you are openhearted, brave, and have a desire to explore the world and your own inner world. you are WOMAN, one awesome one at that.

  3. Life is too grand to confine ourselves to a few descriptions. Get out there and enjoy every adventure you want to embark on. You can always knit, read, blog, or whatever else on the days when you want a quiet break. Enjoy every moment, my friend. Most people spend their days doing what they think defines them, afraid of change. You have the courage to go out their and live. That is beautiful!!!

  4. i love this movie too)

    i think it would be strange, possibly neurotic lol, to be doing and thinking and feeling everything as before, when you have made such a big change in your life.

    you are exploring, reaching out, tasting new ways of being.

    we are not so easily defined, and also, the things that want to return will. the knitting, the books, the blog... will all be there when and if you're ready for those things.

    you're living your wandering spirit!

  5. That is one of the magickal things about being human. If we are not growing, changing, expanding...we are not living.

    By the way, holy crap, thank you for sharing the 4AD and Jagjaguwar music session. I had never heard them before and WOW! Gorgeous!

  6. MJ, I ADORE this post.

    I am also at a beginning, a turning point, and yes, yes yes! you DO need to be able to turn away from the old, feel free to go somewhere, anywhere else, to not be defined by everything that's been before. I told someone recently, "That path there, is my old groove. I don't want to go that way any more. I want to make a new groove." That's how it feels. Standing at the turning, not knowing what the new will bring, thrilled to not know.

    I LOVE the uncharted adventure you're having right now, MJ. Love that you are sharing it. Love that you are living it :)

  7. You are doing what we all should be doing ... continuing to GROW ... whatever that means!!!!!!!!

  8. I have found MJ that the older I get, the more I change. Isn't that what live is anyway, a journey? Just enjoy each stop as it comes, then move on to the next and remember to have fun... It's life,
    reach out and grab all it has to give! :)

  9. I always felt comfort in identifying me with things I did. Kept all my gooeyness in check. It is a bit scary when your doing changes and "you" seep out "carving new corners". Yet it is also so exciting to see new parts of yourself and feel as if the universe is showing you new doors. Open them MJ! xoxo

  10. I'm so glad to hear this! Only because it makes you a real person. ;) The good news is that the knitting and reading and blogging and photographing will all be there whenever you feel like doing them!


  11. JIddu Krishnamurti's said - " when we jump from the stagnant pool we have created for ourselves and jump into the river of life, life has a funny way of taking care of us". Scary though!!!! This is partly why my hubby and I are calling our business 'flow partnership' and why my doula name is Go with the flow. If you look up go with the flow or 'the flow' on wiki it describes the philosophy of letting go and embracing the chaos, pretty neat! Thanks so much for the sticker MJ, am popping your Junos in the post today xx

  12. I'm so grateful that you moved before I do, because I know your words will echo in my mind at points, giving me fresh insight and wisdom as I step into the unknown once again.

    Love this: "The sparks of possibility fly like fireworks, expanding the sky and shattering what I thought was normal. Normal, suddenly, has no definition at all."


  13. Change is the only constant and the more we can embrace that and make it our purpose... the more we will find satisfaction! Beautiful photos and thank you for putting these thoughts to words... they so very much resonate with me!!!


“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
~ George Bernard Shaw