"We are all wanderers on this earth...our hearts are full of wonder, and our souls are deep with dreams." ~ Gypsy proverb

Monday, November 5, 2012

On dragon seeing...

"Mom, I feel different from everyone else..."

"You are different from everyone else..."

"No, I mean I REALLY feel different, like no one thinks the way I do. At school, when I talk about dragons or my imaginary friends, some of the boys make fun of me."

"Who makes fun of you?"

"Uggh, Mooom, that's not the point!"

"Oh, right.... so what kind of things do they say?"

"Well, it's embarrassing. They say things like 'oh look, there goes the girl who sees dragons'..."

Insert growing anger and sadness followed by instinctive plans for revenge and retaliation <here>.....

Deep breath....... Rationale returns <here>.

"I bet that hurt your feelings didn't it..."

"Yeah.....(long pause).....I don't think I can bring Zach (imaginary friend) to school anymore, and maybe I shouldn't talk about dragons anymore either..."

Insert sharp, knifelike pain in my heart <here>.

Everything in me wanted to protest. Helplessly, I watched a piece of her innocence slip slowly into the shadows...thin...then fade. I knew I had no choice but to accept. Despite all the extraordinary reasons I wanted to give her to resist and be who she wanted, ultimately the decision and choices were hers. To persuade her otherwise might create an internal conflict that stands in the way of her own judgement and reasoning, and her own development of self-trust.

She was growing up, and I had to let her, I... had to trust her.

"Okay then....are you going to be alright with that?"

"Yeah.....some people just don't have the same imagination I do, that's all..."

I smiled. "That is for sure Bee, that is for darn sure..."


Monday love...

xoxo

ps. I'd like to reassure all dragon seers out there that M. is not giving up her imaginary friends or dragons all together, she just is more selective now with who she shares this part of her with :).





25 comments:

  1. My "imaginary" friend was a dragon. A very soft cuddly dragon. I could cuddle up, put my head on his fat belly. He'd put his wings around me and I would sleep. He's still around! the house is full of dragons. I'm Snap Dragon. :D :D :D Imagination is good. Living in the real world is good, too. Hugs to M.....

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  2. MJ, your post today made me cry! I have never understood another human being cruel to someone or putting them down. Your M is a wonderful little girl who will go far in this world. I wonder, does she write stories? I can only imagine how entertaining they would be to read.
    Many hugs to you my friend.
    PS- I am so excited to know someone who will be in class with me!
    Oh, I don't have your address since you moved, can you email it to me? I have something to send you.

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    1. Thank you Tracey and Snap ;)...And yes!! She does write stories--almost every single day. Sometimes they are a bit long-winded but she is working on editing, lol..
      And I can't wait for Thea's class! It will be awesome :).
      xoxo

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  3. I like that part when you say..."WHO said that?"

    In other words, point out the kid that said that to you and give me a few minutes.

    Sigh. Oh, that's right. We're adults and can't threaten other people's children. Bummer.

    It's so hard to allow our kids to be revealed the parts of the world that are mean. But, the reality is, that your daughter has the best parents and she will be guided with plenty of love. The kids who tease her have obviously not had such a blessing.

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    1. I did eventually get his name (enter vengeful smile here...Just kidding!!!)

      Honestly, I don't blame the kids..it's natural to notice the differences in others, especially at this age. I only hope my kids see this as a good example of what NOT to do if they see someone as different...
      Thanks for the best parents bit :), I'll pay you later...
      xo

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  4. OH - the mama bear comes out. We so do not want our little ones to grow up in that perspective. This post brought sadness to my heart. That is awesome that she realized and said "they just do not have the imagination that I do" - You got it girl - and be proud - do not let that imagination go -ever!!!!!
    Parenting can be so painful sometimes. Great job MJ - you handled it perfectly and are raising your kiddos so well.
    Chey xo

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    1. Thank you Chey! Hope things are going well in the UK!!
      xo

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  5. I hope her imaginary dragon takes a big bite out of who said that! I will never understand why kids are so cruel. But I think you handled it brilliantly!

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  6. mama heart breaking.

    poor sweet thing. i'm so glad she's not giving them up, just holding them a bit closer.

    hugs to both of you.

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  7. oh my goodness...sniffle sniffle. it really breaks my heart when a child loses a bit of their innocence. it happens so much sooner than it did when I was a little girl. I'm sad for M, and sad for the others who made fun of her, because of their immaturity and ignorance, they will now miss out on such a magical part of her. but, if they can't appreciate, maybe it is best to be saved for those who do. such a smart girl you have.

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  8. I just couldn't help but shed a few tears for your daughter... And for your fierce and beautiful heart.

    Xoxo
    A

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  9. oh, that's such a sweet story. I wish I had a mum like that! xxx

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  10. Oh, sweetheart. That melts me, this story so close to one in our home. Too bad imaginations have to zip up sometimes when out in the world.

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  11. Heart breaking as I read this. You handled it wonderfully, the trust part is the hardest thing. So glad she isn't giving them up completely.

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  12. ::sniff::
    I wonder about things like this with my own little ones when the day comes, and I can only hope that I handle them with as much love and grace as you. xo

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  13. I can only imagine the strength it must have taken to listen without interfering or giving advice. I can only hope I'll be able to let go and trust my sweet girl so completely. Those boys at school are missing out on something magical.

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  14. absolute beauty!!!
    painful and gorgeous all wrapped into one

    love and light

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  15. if only the world was magical and kind, so that our little miracles could blossom without hindrance. my heart is breaking often now that my girl is 'out there' more. it's soooo tough.

    but in this case, your girl handled it beautifully. selectiveness is just perfect.

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  16. good going mj. i love how you dealt with this. little m is so wise already.

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  17. ((Hugs)) to your little M. May she find that when she is older she will feel free enough to talk to dragons at any time. And to tell others about these magical beings. I understand. Some just can't see the magic that is all around us. xo

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    1. "Some just can't see the magic that is all around us."
      Exactly...
      thanks Mandy :)

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  18. thank you all for the kind and supportive comments :)...
    XOXO

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  19. I think your dear M and Tenneille my dragon lover would get along so well. T has an imaginary friend too. Jacinta x

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  20. Oh MJ, So much like my sweet boy...it's so hard for these little souls to navigate through the waters of a life that is sometimes so cruel. Thank you for sharing.

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  21. I felt the sadness and protective anger welling up in my own mama's heart as I read this. I think you did a wonderful job letting her be. But oh, how glad I am that she's decided to keep her friend and dragon around.

    xo
    cortnie

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“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
~ George Bernard Shaw