"We are all wanderers on this earth...our hearts are full of wonder, and our souls are deep with dreams." ~ Gypsy proverb

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

the intensity I seek

I've been feeling quite raw lately. I can't quite place into words the rumbling, but it's an intensity that calls for me to hang mid-air and let my toes feel empty and weightless. Looking down I see little trees and houses, moving cars and people that seem like ants walking aimlessly about. Above, I see nothing but sky, deep blue and nearly black trimmed with white sparkles, a sea of dreaming that invites me to go swimming for awhile.

There is an intensity that I am attracted to. A boldness that pulls emotion from the seemingly empty or mundane, an energy that calls for color to seep into the corners of my peripheral vision, and an echo that falls gently, flowering around the shoulders of a enlivened soul.

There are many conduits to this living, breathing precipice of awakening. Nature, a work of art, a vision, a song, a picture, a person, a poem. Sometimes it comes from a breeze, many times it's the sunlight that seeps through naked branches in my back yard. When it arrives I see nothing else, and I am called to stretch the limits of my human understanding, unzip and climb out of my human skin, and feel the cold, damp air on my bare bones. A ball of fire spins, blazing underneath, blurring the lines between body and breathe. To unsheathe, to expose, to cut open and let our true selves mingle and swallow the air that keeps us alive, this is the intensity I seek.

When it arrives, I know by nature it is not meant to last. And so I hang on a bit longer and float, until my pounding heart, and weightless feet touch the ground once more.

And you, where do you find intensity? What moves you to the point where you feel buoyant and all ablaze?

Wishing you an impassioned  Tuesday...


  1. and imagine -

    each ant below feels the draw toward intensity and being. how can we begin to even imagine such magnitude?

    what causes intensity in me? everything. every.damned and blessed.thing.


  2. in me? loving, arting, horizons, waves upon rock, expanses of green, the spark of inspiration.

    raw is tough, and juicy, and scary, and exhilarating.

  3. Oh a tough question...one that absolutely gets a different answer on different days...

    This post reminds me of a line of a poem I love..."I tremble on the edge of a maybe"

  4. So beautiful. And such perfect photos.

  5. mmmmmmmm.... I love your words. They move me so. I'm wondering about where I find the opposite of intensity. as that will help me find where i find/experience intensity.

  6. Wow. I really had to pause after reading this. Thank you.
    I find it on the top of ski mountain, about to drop into a run. I find it sailing in the ocean with land far away, I find it in the stillness of our girls asleep before I tip toe away to write in the stillness of night.

    1. "top of a ski mountain"---absolutely exhilarating (just happened to be on one yesterday!)

  7. Oh my...this is so lyrical. It is words like these and the quiet winter woods that speak from under the ground. XOXO

  8. The intensity of a quiet observation.
    That's what this post reminds me to keep being aware of.
    I find that intensity definitely when the sun illuminates an object in my house just so, or in my garden. Also when I watch my girls breathe silently in bed, when I catch my husband just watching me from across the room, and when I read scripture and it speak right to the heart of a weary struggle.
    Your words are always so observant and true. This post in particular is a apt reminder to wonder and enjoy the gift of little things. {my head is spinning with big things...both good and very bad right now}. I sent out some blog love your way and linked your home page last post talking about {among many things} the book Hold On To Your Kids.
    Keep up the writing and intensity.

  9. Oh I do love reading you these days! There is such heart and soul that I love.

  10. I love reading where everyone finds intensity...YES!!!!

  11. Beautiful. Your writing has grown so much since you first started the blog, (me thinks.)

    Anyhoo. As a songwriter, I spent so many years swathed in "intensity"..I've actually come to find the word to have more of a negative connotation (personally) in some way.

    I was an intense teen, etc. I was told so many times. My songs were intense. My romantic relationships were intense, and so forth.

    Now I prefer...Depth. Richness. And life itself offers that in so many ways. The shape of an old teacup, birds at the window, my children's laughter, my goodness, it's everywhere.

    1. depth, richness...beautiful words, too..


“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
~ George Bernard Shaw