"This life is not for complaint, but for satisfaction." ~ Henry David Thoreau

Finally finished!!

My hubs asked me the other day what it is about crocheting and knitting that I liked so much.  The best answer I could give was that there is grand satisfaction in making something by hand, and then seeing it used and appreciated by others, especially the ones' you love.  All of these type of activities would apply I think--cooking, baking, sewing, crafting, woodworking, whatever. The whole act of just making something with your hands is not only deeply gratifying, but magical... and addictive.

I recently read a book called Shop Class as Soulcraft by Matthew Crawford, which explored the lost art of having a skill, or a trade to call your own. To have a trade or skill that places an individual as a valuable member of a community, he says, is one of the most satisfying life experiences one can have. The author went from writing medical journal/periodical summaries in a cubicle to being a motorcycle mechanic in a small town. He explored industrialization and the psychological effects it had on its workers. When the entire skill of machine making was stripped down to just making one part on an assembly line, not only is the skilled ripped apart, but so is the gratification of the worker himself. Workers end up separating themselves from the product they are making, the quality of that product, and the connection they have to the consumer themselves. 

Connection, I am realizing, is multifaceted. First there is the connection to knowing that you started with something raw, organic, or formless--whether it is the wood being built, stone being chiseled, fiber being twisted into yarn, or food being grown.  Then, there is connection to the learning and doing the skill or trade itself.  Skills like these take time to acquire and learn, but the process itself gives gratification when finally conquering that skill.  And lastly, there is the direct connection to the people who are going to use what has been made. The satisfaction of watching that creation being used or purchased by another. All of this is tied into personal satisfaction and purpose, as well as a sense of community.

I know it isn't possible anymore for everyone to learn a trade and run out and get a job as a mechanic or glassblower. Society just isn't set up that way anymore.  But, for me, I get my own slice of satisfaction when I see those socks on my husband or blankets on my children :).

Another smack in the head

Ok, I admit it, I am having a hard time lately. Sometimes it takes me awhile to know that something is wrong until it comes and smacks me upside the head. It could be the season, but I know I am not an easy going mama. I wish I was, but I am not. I can be lost in my head and still walk around with that perfectionist thinking, obliviously, with high expectations for everything and everyone, but mostly myself. Sometimes I get little warning signs that these feelings are happening, like a mosquito buzzing around your ear that you can't see. But, it isn't until I am sucked bone dry when I realize I am starving for something.

I have a quote taped to my computer (so much for that idea--I'll have to tape it to my forehead). "Expectations are pre-planned resentments". I have no idea who said it and even Google couldn't tell me. Regardless, I have them--I wake up and I have a plan, I have lists--of what I want to accomplish, where I "need" to go or do, or what the kids should could be doing.  It is how I have always accomplished anything. But I have discovered something about this productivity-induced behavior of mine.  It clouds my judgment of what really should be the most important part of my everyday--relationships, connection, and more importantly--presence and peace. In fact, I think the lists end up being a distraction to try to find fulfillment, when fulfillment can be found simply by just stopping and slowing down.

When I begin to "race"--against whom or what I don't know--I expect my kids to keep up with me. I forget that productivity is no where in a child's vocabulary, BUT--happiness and connection are. They want to connect with me all day long, asking me to play with them and in their stories. When I am lost in my "to-do" I forget this, and I forget my own need for nurturing. It's wonderful how my children can love and nurture naturally, even knowing when I need it. In their eyes, I have no need to race or to accomplish anything.  It's as simple as getting down on the floor to play. They know exactly how to find happiness and they naturally will gravitate towards it if I just let them--if I just follow them instead of trying to lead all the time. One day they will learn their own definition of success, and I only hope that it won't be the same as mine.  I can't say I will ever stop the lists, they are just a part of how I do things. Perhaps I can just change the order in which I write my to-do's, with peace and presence always at the top.