The decorations will be coming down today, and what I once considered adorned before the holidays will now appear desolate and naked. I do have an addictive personality, an inherited trait that leaves me charmed by escapism, celebration, and any detour from day to day reality (especially on an extended vacation such as the last 2 weeks). But having recovered from addiction, I also know that adjusting the hardwired tendencies of my brain means making a conscious effort to practice (and practice and practice) looking beneath the surface of things, and seek the extraordinary in the ordinary. And soon emptiness is replaced by the effervescent details around me.
Reflecting back, I realize I wrote that post over a year ago about my 12 year addiction to food, and my recovery from an eating disorder. I also wrote in that post about making a promise and concerted effort to change my attitudes about cooking. I wanted to see food as my friend and infuse the practice with love, not with an avoidance constructed by fear and denial. And this was not just for my benefit, but more importantly, for my family's.
What I have not done since that post is share my progress in this space, and yes, there has been amazing progress. I have made peace with cooking, seeing it as an opportunity to reflect joy without needing to avoid pain. How much easier it has become for me to not only plan a meal, but to prepare the cupboards with staples for those days without planning. It's a f---ing miracle actually ;). Though you probably won't ever see me talk incessantly about cooking, or posting recipes of my own invention, I have found the connection between food, fun, and love, without the prickly strings of addiction, fear or perfection. Cooking is still a work in progress, just as I am, but once again, with practice, the extra in the ordinary replaces what was once empty...
Happy weekend to all and may you find the ordinary simply amazing...
xoxo
Joining Bella in 52 Photos Project {Softly Fade Away}
