So, remember when I asked you all for your good vibes for our 3 house showings? We actually had an offer!! Well, not one that we will accept unfortunately, but I am thrilled for at least an offer!! You know what that means right? You all are my official finger crossers for the next round of house showings. Thank you again really, for all the kind wishes :).
There has been much on my mind lately, which is nothing out of the normal actually, but so much of it I just haven't shared (August break?). After reading my friend Cory's post yesterday, I realized there is much I hang on to and hesitate writing about.
There is something you should know about me, I am a Gemini, which means I am fickle and I can change my position on things all the time. Truthfully, the better I know myself, the more I realize change is one of my few constants. It's like tumbling in a laundry dryer, just when I think I'm done, I jump back in for another cycle. I am restless, and I get very bored easily. I am beginning to realize that the only reason my life isn't simple is because I don't allow it to be. I need stimulation, I need to try new things, and contentment is equal to moving, changing, wondering, and inquiring. To a fault? Probably. Yet I am willing to accept it.
Only a short year ago, I imagined us moving to a minifarm, raising chickens and veggies on 2 acres, maybe even have a horse or a few alpacas. Our month long stint last year in Charlottesville, Va was beautiful, and I wanted to believe that this was where I wanted to move, to have our minifarm and a simple life (though I think there is nothing simple about a farm :). Then as the year progressed, the feeling that I might never be satisfied with just one choice kept nagging me. It's daunting to try to find the "perfect" city to move to and change our entire lives for. Then, I went through this e-course this summer, which helped me hone-in on the things that personally kept me growing, the things that made me feel alive, and the same themes kept coming up. Exploring, visiting new cities, states, countries, learning other cultures, learning new things. Our road trips and travels have steadily increased as our kids have grown. The signs are there, I just didn't really look at them until recently. My greater dream of traveling and showing my children their heritages in France and Japan, as well as wherever else we can, would be extremely difficult once committed to a dream of a minifarm with alpacas and chickens. And just like that, we've erased the black board and are staring at an open space.
We are talking about never buying another house again. We may let wanderlust lead the way and trust that no matter where we go, it will the right place at the right time, and home will always be where we are. I've thought about the need for stability and consistency in our kids' lives, and we have provided that with our home and suburban lifestyle for the past 9 years. But maybe stability is still possible with uncertainty. Maybe stability is found in knowing that our lives can only grow with continual change. Maybe stability begins and ends with the family, regardless of environment.
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| Both shots were taken the same morning, the sunrise east, and the mini rainbow facing west :). Apropos I think. |
It seems that many of us are taking risks these days, tumbling, turning, shifting, and wondering. All of our horizons are completely wide open, and I find it exhilarating and comforting all at once.
much love
xx oo
