"We are all wanderers on this earth...our hearts are full of wonder, and our souls are deep with dreams." ~ Gypsy proverb

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Tumbling

So, remember when I asked you all for your good vibes for our 3 house showings?  We actually had an offer!! Well, not one that we will accept unfortunately, but I am thrilled for at least an offer!! You know what that means right? You all are my official finger crossers for the next round of house showings. Thank you again really, for all the kind wishes :). 

There has been much on my mind lately, which is nothing out of the normal actually, but so much of it I just haven't shared (August break?). After reading my friend Cory's post yesterday, I realized there is much I hang on to and hesitate writing about.

There is something you should know about me, I am a Gemini, which means I am fickle and I can change my position on things all the time. Truthfully, the better I know myself, the more I realize change is one of my few constants. It's like tumbling in a laundry dryer, just when I think I'm done, I jump back in for another cycle. I am restless, and I get very bored easily. I am beginning to realize that the only reason my life isn't simple is because I don't allow it to be. I need stimulation, I need to try new things, and contentment is equal to moving, changing, wondering, and inquiring. To a fault? Probably. Yet I am willing to accept it.

Only a short year ago, I imagined us moving to a minifarm, raising chickens and veggies on 2 acres, maybe even have a horse or a few alpacas. Our month long stint last year in Charlottesville, Va was beautiful, and I wanted to believe that this was where I wanted to move, to have our minifarm and a simple life (though I think there is nothing simple about a farm :). Then as the year progressed, the feeling that I might never be satisfied with just one choice kept nagging me. It's daunting to try to find the "perfect" city to move to and change our entire lives for. Then, I went through this e-course this summer, which helped me hone-in on the things that personally kept me growing, the things that made me feel alive, and the same themes kept coming up. Exploring, visiting new cities, states, countries, learning other cultures, learning new things. Our road trips and travels have steadily increased as our kids have grown. The signs are there, I just didn't really look at them until recently. My greater dream of traveling and showing my children their heritages in France and Japan, as well as wherever else we can, would be extremely difficult once committed to a dream of a minifarm with alpacas and chickens. And just like that, we've erased the black board and are staring at an open space.

We are talking about never buying another house again. We may let wanderlust lead the way and trust that no matter where we go, it will the right place at the right time, and home will always be where we are. I've thought about the need for stability and consistency in our kids' lives, and we have provided that with our home and suburban lifestyle for the past 9 years. But maybe stability is still possible with uncertainty. Maybe stability is found in knowing that our lives can only grow with continual change. Maybe stability begins and ends with the family, regardless of environment.

Both shots were taken the same morning, the sunrise east, and the mini rainbow facing west :). Apropos I think.


It seems that many of us are taking risks these days, tumbling, turning, shifting, and wondering. All of our horizons are completely wide open, and I find it exhilarating and comforting all at once.

much love
xx oo

16 comments:

  1. I will definitely be thinking of you as you 'tumble'. I think I am a bit of a tumbler too. You are right there is no perfect place. Contentment and simplicity are found within us. However, I think it can be a complex process trying to dig down into ourselves to find that contentment. Anyway, I am excited about the adventure before you and your family whatever you decide. Family and home are wherever you are.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Loved this post. I'm a Gemini too (with a Pisces rising ... try going in 4 directions at one time!!!)..... easily bored ... I'll think of you as you tumble. Home is where your heart is.

    ReplyDelete
  3. hooray for flinging that door open! we are wanderers and i never need to own another house. mexico? yes. france? yep. india? definitely. one of my best friends leaves today with her twin girls for a new life in tel aviv and i so want to jump in her bag. we had a blessing-way for her on sunday night and she clearly and vibrantly stated that her path was not that of soccer mom or ice skating mom but of world adventurer, and that would be her gift to her children. it was lovely! bon voyage on whatever path you choose!

    ReplyDelete
  4. How wonderful MJ that you know this about yourself. As a fellow military brat I have had my share of moving. While I know that 'home is where the heart is', I am ready to never move again. I have moved 26 times in my lifetime and am now content to be a homebody! Congratulations on the house offer, but a bummer on having to turn it down. It sounds like good things are in the air though and the next offer will be a great one! xx

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh man. The military brat in me that moved all over and experienced a million things and always felt comfortable amoung the strange and unfamiliar is crying to come with you right now. Two years ago I took the path of 'stability.' Bought a house, took a 'stable' job and tried to be all responsible and rock-like. I am finding now that unstability is my stability. I can't just 'do the rat race.' What's the point then. Great post (as always)... and sending a million good thoughts out so that the right thing goes your way!! Can't wait to see your journey unfold!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Perfectly said, MJ. We've had some pretty HUGE changes over at our house recently and I've been waiting for just the right moment to share. Waiting for it all to sink in for me first. This is such an inspiring post for me. The last bit about our horizons being wide open, hit the nail on the head. We really are connected. Thank you for this. I really needed it today. xoxo.

    ReplyDelete
  7. i'm glad you have accepted that about yourself - we can't fight our intrinsic self.

    we came to Montenegro with the idea of many acres, chickens, goats (i have all the books) organic farming, a small homestead and being self-sufficientish. all gone out the window.

    having a baby awakened my creative self, and of course i realised my nomadic self will never go away.
    my girl has a Virgo Moon, which requires stability. and i admit that now that i'm older i like the idea of a home, of roots, a place to park my art supplies and books.
    so, i like the idea of a house, but with total flexibility in lifestyle, which is what we have.

    we plan to hit the road as often as possible. and we always have a house to feel settled and cosy in after our travels.

    i'm excited for you guys!

    ReplyDelete
  8. awesome, mama. i am a big fan of the ralph waldo emerson quote on "a foolish consistency..." because i think having the same position all the time and never contradicting what i once said would be, frankly, boring as all get out. i wish you so much luck and joy as your journey continues to unfold! sounds very exciting. :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. MJ, I think you're well ahead of the rest of us (okay, maybe just me) in knowing that the only constant is change. Being someone who thrives on consistency and routine, I admire your spunk and willingness to try new things. Maybe you can send some of your vibes my way? I'm a Taurus, and I have no idea what that means! Stubborn in my need for routine?

    ReplyDelete
  10. open horizons are a good thing. i know that whatever you decide for however long, your children will be all the better because of it!

    ReplyDelete
  11. wow. amazing! it's cool when we show a little bit about ourselves, no?
    I love it. It's so fresh and inspiring. Who knows, you could travel for a year or two and then want to hunker down. Friends of ours with three kids took a year off and went to Europe. Just rented their house out. So many options.
    XO

    ReplyDelete
  12. The world is so huge, with so many different landscapes and cultures. If you have the ability, and the desire, to share it with your children - go for it!!! They will get stability through the love and encouragement you show them. And what better lesson to teach them than to be true to themselves. That's what you're doing -being true to yourself. Bravo, Mama!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. MJ, oh this is such a beautiful post, and I agree with Cory that it can be so good to share bits of ourselves! So good to know these bits about you. August has had quite a bit of tumbling in our lives, that I plan to share soon too...
    I am so happy for all of the self-discovery you are coming too, so very very good!
    Always best, Claudine

    ReplyDelete
  14. home is wherever you are. you will make a great traveling crew. follow your dreams! you will teach your children so much on a traveling plane. especially since you are a homeschooling family, the transitions will be much easier than if you weren't. i think it's wonderful for our children to feel they are global citizens this day and age. what a cool time we live in to be able to offer that.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Happy tumbling. I feel I must be part gypsy. My feet are always itching to walk different paths and continents. We are putting in plans at the moment to possibly begin on new adventures. As for the house offer, it is definitely a start. I will cross my fingers again for you in hope of you receiving an offer that helps you tumble to your next adventure! If you ever plan to tumble to Australia, let me know! Jacinta

    ReplyDelete
  16. "But maybe stability is still possible with uncertainty. Maybe stability is found in knowing that our lives can only grow with continual change. Maybe stability begins and ends with the family, regardless of environment."

    In our often uncertain life, I have to hope that this is true. My husband and I are both like you in our ever wandering, ever tumbling tendencies. He, even more than me, has a new life plan for us every time I turn around, so I can only hope that this adventure will be one where we can always find comfort, normalcy, and togetherness with one another; and I hope the same for you! I'll keep my fingers crossed!

    ReplyDelete

“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
~ George Bernard Shaw