"We are all wanderers on this earth...our hearts are full of wonder, and our souls are deep with dreams." ~ Gypsy proverb

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Chase the moon

Stay still and you may not feel the wind,
but if you brave the night and chase the moon,
she just might carry you until suddenly...
you are flying.

my first sweater waits for me

If I waited until I felt "good enough" to try anything, I would probably never try anything. Usually, confidence waits for me at fear's back door.  So here I am at the front, with willingness gently nudging me forward. I find myself at fear's front door quite a bit these days. The good news, the door is always open to enter and walk through.

I know I talk about our move a lot. As we get closer to the date, finalize our plans, and pack, I feel myself trembling. I have been in Florida most of my life, 27 years. Though I have never felt this place was my true home, I know deeply what I will miss...

the live oaks strung heavy with Spanish Moss,
the salty smell and sandy beaches,
the long fingered palms that paint the sky,
the lakes that scatter, glimmer, and deepen like diamonds,
and the reliable sun, always healing, always uplifting.

I will miss these things, yes, but I would miss more the things I have not seen. Make friends with risk, I tell myself, and she will show you courage....


and you? are you taking a risk? I would love to hear yours :).


  1. moving is tricky when you get down to the brass tacks of it! i have found that sometimes i have to just gloss over the details (family, fear, uncertainty, the physical pain in the ass that is moving a whole household replete with beating hearts, cross country) and keep on pushing through to the adventure...the adventure....the adventure! the new faces and fresh outlook, the wild rivers and mountains, the funky new coffee shops and characters within, the new best friends, the new neighbors (march right on over and thrust yourself upon them!) the new smell in the mornings, the new night sky, the new day trips, the new road trips, ahhh you’re making me want to move now! we’ll practically be neighbors! AND as you are moving to the hippest community in the continental US, I hope you will still see fit to share with us normal folks! :) I’m so happy you’re taking us along for your ride!

  2. Oh MJ, what a fantastic post. "The good news, the door is always open to enter and walk through" is a simply brilliant way of thinking about facing our fears, whether big or small.

    Thank you for sharing so much about your feelings surrounding your move, as it encourages us to follow our deeply felt understanding of what is right for our own lives.

    Sending blessings to you!
    xo, Claudine

    p.s. the photo of you is stunning...I love it!

  3. love this. embrace risk, i know you're braver than you think you are.

  4. There is so much more out there MJ and it is all going to be just fantastic for you so run toward it!
    I am not much of a risk taker, but I married one and now get to go along for the ride!
    You only get one life, please, please don't live it in fear.....you are a beautiful soul and I want you to enjoy life!

  5. I have moved a lot in the beginning years of our marriage. Things always work out, my main piece of advice is to label in detail what is in each box. Do not rely on memory (it makes unpacking easier). If you need help with your sweater feel free to email me :)

  6. I got chills as I reached the end of this, thinking about all of the excitement, change, and beauty that awaits you, my friend. With a move in the not too distant future for us, too, I can relate. Fear can be such a limiting factor, but your reminder is so very true - there's always a way around it. I'm looking forward to seeing that first sweater, and many other firsts as you continue your journey.

    I hope your girl is feeling more herself now!

  7. oh mj, i. love. this. and you are so right. *I will miss these things, yes, but I would miss more the things I have not seen.*

    this, something i need to embrace. thank you for your awesome words today.

  8. very good writing MJ. thoughtful and poetic...
    i suppose i took quite a risk when i moved to Norway for a guy i knew for about 4 months!! and during those 4 months only spent together 4 weeks!!
    now that i look back, from a 12 year`s distance, i realise that.
    but i made the decision...
    i don`t know i was too much in love to think of consequences.
    or fear them.
    but they always come. even when things go well.
    we just have to learn to live with them ...

  9. Such a great post. You are very much like my hubby and my sweet son. I can't keep still for long, I suffer from great wander lust and am always craving to go somewhere new, try something different...drives poor hubby a bit nuts sometimes, but he hangs in there. You are going to knock the socks off your travels I am sure of it!

  10. I was just talking about Spanish moss and how I miss it. You are on the threshold of a wonderful new adventure and I am so excited for you.

    It's funny.. when I see your key picture at the top of your blog, it makes me think of warm summer breezes and the tinkling of wind chimes.

  11. This is my favorite quote of all time. I read it often.

    "20 years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines, sail away from the safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." Mark Twain

    There will definitely be things you miss, but like you say, think of all the things you would be missing by holding back.

    Oh, and I LOVE the yarn you chose for your first sweater. So warm and yummy!


  12. You write beautifully MJ - I love the honesty of your words! The Mark Twain quote provided by Amanda is wonderful isn't it? Inspiring when the fear is lurking.
    We're taking a big risk this year - I am going back to uni and with two young children and quite a few years under my belt.... it feels scary but so right. Wishing you a wonderful journey in your new home!

  13. I moved so many times, and it was scary every time, but also worth it. things and people that are truly important will stay with you, the rest will go, and for everyone and everything that goes something new will enter. and what I learned the hard way was that things often actually have to go to make space for you to find yourself. you'll be fine. and there is nothing wrong with a bit of a safety net, or rather safety thought - you can always go back home if things really don't work out :)


  14. As always MJ your words hit me in the chest! "If I waited until I felt "good enough" to try anything, I would probably never try anything." is my standard M.O. I have let fear rule my life for almost 10 years. It has turned me into someone I hardly recognize, in good ways and not so good. But it is who I am now, not who I have to be. I found this quote from a family favorite, Ram Daas, kinda one of those oh yeah thoughts, and one I have been repeating to myself.
    "You're problem is you're too busy holding on to your unworthiness"
    Remember fear is not real. Our spirits are not scared, our egos are and they are not who we really are! xoxo

  15. oh yeah... i am very much taking what feels like the biggest risk of all in life and letting myself fall in love. i love that chasing the moon quote, though with our unseasonably clear nights recently it feels more like the moon is chasing me! :) (and i am definitely flying!!!!)

  16. "confidence waits for me at fear's back door"

    what a beautiful thougt, so real to me.

    i was just about to say how envious i was seeing your reflected self-portrait in flip flops!

    peace for you as you approach your move, may you find contentment and embrace the change no matter how hard it is.

    go for it, take it, embrace it and welcome risk, and never ever forget that falling is all a part of the process (i always forget that part, prefering to sit on the floor, crying oh poo and feeling sorry for myself for failing)

    love this post MJ.

  17. oh and hope all is feeling better over down there!

    1. Thanks Jen!! Yes, M. started eating solids yesterday and has been eating non stop ever since. Relief is here.

      And how about this new blogger upgrade where I can reply to everyone's comments!!! COOOL.

  18. Great post MJ! I've done a few big time moves (the last being Maui to Maryland) and have never looked back. It's too much of an adventure; you won't even have time to feel uneasy. One thing I learned from our latest move is that, really, when it comes down to it, as long as Joe and I and our girls are together it doesn't matter where we are, it's a 4-person party!

  19. This was exactly what I needed to read tonight as I sit working on something I've been wanting to bring to fruition but keep holding back a bit.

    And I must tell you - you won't leave the sun behind. It shines here almost daily. :)

  20. Wow! I love how alive you are. And I lot that you are knitting your first sweater. And I love being along with you on this move! SOOO fun!

  21. I'm so excited for you and your upcoming journey. We have a lot going on for us this year, but I can't share much of it at the moment. It's killing me, but at the same time, I don't want to jinx ourselves just in case. I can totally relate to the 'but I would miss more the things I have not seen'. I swear I am part gypsy and the travel bug is biting like never before! Jacinta x

  22. Wow - I think we are going through a similar process at the moment - I am about to knitt my first sweater as well. We are also in the process of preparing for our move back to the states from the island. We should arrive back in Colorado just a few weeks after you. I wish you the best of luck through the transition and hope to catch up with you there. xo cheyenne


“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
~ George Bernard Shaw