All too brief are the moments that hold me still. I sweep by the cat knowing he begs for my attention. I turn and see him gazing at me with those large green eyes. Soul gazers... that is what they are.
As I sat and watched you in your piano lesson, I didn't see a 10 year old. I saw a 2 year old, with the same eager smile, the same playful energy, the same long lashes that would soak with tears if I left your sight. My own eyes begin to well and my vision blurs--"No!" I thought, not here, not in front of your piano teacher, you would be so embarrassed! But you must know, I won't tell you now, but one day you must know, that my heart bursts with love and pride for the boy you have become, for the man I know you will be...
I look away until I'm sure my eyes are dry, pull out the checkbook, and write.
So much to hold, so much to embrace, all of it, far too brief.
ps. Thank you all for your comments of support and experience on my last post. I am grateful for every single one...
If I Were
There are lots of ways to dance and
to spin, sometimes it just starts my
feet first then my entire body, I am
spinning no one can see it but it is
happening. I am so glad to be alive,
I am so glad to be loving and loved.
Even if I were close to the finish,
even if I were at my final breath, I
would be here to take a stand, bereft
of such astonishments, but for them.
If I were a Sufi for sure I would be
one of the spinning kind.
From A Thousand Mornings, Mary Oliver