"We are all wanderers on this earth...our hearts are full of wonder, and our souls are deep with dreams." ~ Gypsy proverb

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Tick, tick, tick...

Time passes and I watch it go. Funny how I don't ever see it coming, only leaving. It moves fast and slow without prejudice, and I ponder the winding, paradoxical nature of it all. Time's inescapable vine propels us forward effortlessly, while I dawdle with little wishes to pause, and sometimes, rewind.

Lately, I have been list-making to organize my time and prioritize what's in my mind. Busy hasn't stopped since we moved, but Time has trained me well to be more efficient , effective, and accountable by making lists. And let's just face it, if I don't write it down I don't remember it.

But oh the irony!!! The lists never, ever end. It's a dangerous place to reside inside lists as they have been known to steal my time quicker than the belief that I have saved any by making them. It's a simple fact, the faster I move, or the more I fill my lists, or the more I cram into a day, the quicker the day flashes, leaving me to wonder where my time has gone. Sometimes I feel the satisfaction of my efficiency, and other times I wonder if I am afflicted with an addiction to busy-ness. And at the end of the day, with a fresh list of horizontal slashes dressed in perceived success, I see a skeletal recording of the hours of my day, like a bony rib cage worn by the passage of time. Yikes. *Sigh*

Unless.

I blast Mumford out loud and dance in the kitchen, I hike amidst my long-limbed brothers (sharing their first fists of green lately ;), I take snapshots of my boy, now with braces, and my girl with her bangs finally growing long. I paint my workshop, and now make its curtains. I drive my husband to the bus station for a meeting in Denver, and I sit to write down on my list that I need to get the snow tires off the van. Time has never been something to fear, not as long as I remember to fill it with heart. The ticking that goes by does not discriminate between snow tires and a smoothie, between laughter and stress, or accomplishment and procrastination. We are our own judge and jury to how we spend our time. Lists or not, I decide where joy plays a part. I decide when to dance or when to drive. So it's only with the trick of the mind and the flick of my wrist how I perceive whether my day is long or short. That is just how foolish we humans can be. Just ask the trees, they know what I mean :).



Mucho love...

xoxo

10 comments:

  1. "It's a simple fact, the faster I move, or the more I fill my lists, or the more I cram into a day, the quicker the day flashes, leaving me to wonder where my time has gone."

    Such a strange paradox. When I began to surrender and slow down, I feel like I have MORE time.

    I'm particularly conscience of giving my daughter more slow days than not. To instil mindful enjoyment in the simple - rather than lots of groups, activities, and outings.

    It continues to be daily work. ;)


    [some of your best writing]

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  2. and on that beautiful note
    i take my leave and head to the hills for a walk with my four legged companion who waits for me at my door.....

    thank you for this today

    love and light

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  3. Beautifully put. As a family we were in the fast lane a few months ago, we are still not sure how it happened, but we were there and time was passing us by much too quickly. We stepped back, we said no to things, changed a few things and now we have more time. More time for the things we enjoy with people we enjoy spending time with.

    You are so right, we are the judge and jury and only we get to decide how to spend our time, it is up to us.

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  4. Hey MJ,
    Nice stopping by again for a visit.
    Your place is always relaxing to me.
    I really liked what you said about time and list making.
    Its so hard...I love being productive and making my home a clean organized and beautiful place for my family which takes times and yes lists and boring tasks, but the harmony and spirit of our home is so better served when I enjoy and relax and am present and create...but you just can't do both every day. That's the rub with time each and every day, at least for me.
    On a completely different note, I need an insiders opinion on some good un-schooled home schooling books, websites, ect. Thinking hard and heavy about my big girls' education for the fall (they will be in 6th and 5th grade). Looking into that as a possibility and thought of you.
    Thanks & Cheers.
    Leah

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  5. I hear you. it's the same here at the moment. the more I do the less it feels like I'm doing anything. xxx

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  6. can't help but feel I guilted you a little into this post.
    so proud of myself.
    ; )

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  7. Oh the dreaded list....thank you for this today. I think I might throw it in the garbage today and play outside. XO

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  8. As someone who regularly sacrifices productivity for joyful time spent with my children, I love this post!

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  9. I am reminded of the poem 'Leisure' by W.H. Davies which ends with the lines
    'A poor life this if, full of care,
    We have no time to stand and stare.'

    This world we have created with its emphasis on speed and productivity needs the rebels who dance in the rain and tear up the lists!

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“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
~ George Bernard Shaw