"We are all wanderers on this earth...our hearts are full of wonder, and our souls are deep with dreams." ~ Gypsy proverb

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

what I wish for

It's easy to wish for the tangible things. A blender, a new phone, our own home with a mountain view.... These things I can handle having or not, things I can control with a click of a button or a slide of a card, or even follow with a gaze accepting that I may never know its touch. Will these tangibles find a fiber of memory forty years from now when I am almost 82?

Maybe....but as I sit and listen intently for what I want, the wishes that come are nothing I can hold, nothing that can be bought with a warranty for an additional $12.99. More real and alive to me than a fancy pair of jeans, the intangibles are what I ache for. With a simple wish I dare them to sustain or bloom again just as spring and summer are promised to come. Knowing how change is a fixture congruous with time, I hold my breath and wish for the consistency of happiness that I find spattering my days. I wish for the continued health that resides in all whom I love, I hang on to bliss that exists in my closest relationships, for friendships to endure and for love to remain...I wish for the unveiling of dreams, for pathways that I have not considered, for patience, for awareness, for humility, to trust when all I want to do is scream....

It's a lot to ask, I know. I have been a lucky girl and maybe a new blender is on an easier list to cross, perhaps more of a sure thing than all that I hope for. Yet how will I know unless I try? I see 42 walking my way and though I am shy to raise my eyes I will not hide, for if these are the best days of my life, let it be so and may I never ever forget them.


Born To Die by Lana Del Ray on Grooveshark


  1. Oh yes, dear MJ, I hope you never forget them for they ARE wonderful days. I have gone all day without a pain pill, it's a GREAT day!

  2. i think those tangibles that we still might like become more soul-supporting. a blender for juicing, rather than because her at #24 has one. paints for making art, rather than more pens because i can't get enough of them. books that enrich, enlighten, nourish, rather than just to fill the shelves. and on and on.

    but ultimately, yes, the intangibles alone have the power to transform and sustain. it must be a tough place to be, to be getting older and still coveting more stuff. it's certainly peaceful, to have learned to shed.

    1. Soul supporting, it's true, I think I categorize them as actions--like bookbinding, or playing the banjo and listening to music, or journaling and reading, so the things that I need to do those things are part of the package and less of an individual want. And I love that I have some control over these things, that if I am having a bad day I can just switch on the ipod or pickup a pen, but I wonder what happens on the day that I don't have control over these things anymore? Will I have enough reserve in the intangibles to provide me enough happiness, enough satisfaction for my soul to carry me through? If I had nothing, will I still have everything? Oh lawdy, may I stop thinking and just live :).

  3. the best days of your life. agreed. may they be full of blenders and everything else you wish for. happy (soon-ish ?) birthday xxx

  4. Is it irreverent to here note that 42 is the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything?

  5. Taking it all in, right now. The best way to be. Enjoy every delicious moment. A happy birthday (soon?)! xo

  6. MJ,
    As always I am nodding right along with the sentiments of your heart and the ponderings swimming around in your brain. It makes sense that the intangible are what we were made to strive for because you can never quite grasp them and possess them, so you keep living in pursuit of them. Which, after all, is what we are created to do: pursue not possess.
    Loved the peeking in at the glimpses of your randomness in your last post. I am trying to keep up with a Monday link up of gratitude lists and photographs, and always so enjoy doing it.
    I am registered for the unschooling online summit you sent me, and am plowing my way through Mary Griffeth's Unschooling Handbook. Thanks so much for your recommendations. June and July are going to be a very philosophical couple of months for me, along with a lot of praying, as I try to get my mind around all the theories and information!

    1. Sooo glad to hear it Leah!!! Good luck with everything and don't hesitate to contact me for anything :).

  7. it's hard to keep it in perspective sometimes isn't it?
    but also...so very easy.
    all one has to do is look.


“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
~ George Bernard Shaw