Oh mama...

I have a confession to share. I have been a bad mommy. Living in a small, temporary space (900 sq. foot), navigating in a brand new and unfamiliar town, and frantically searching for a suitable and affordable place to call home, as well as hunting for the beds and furniture to fill it, has brought out a stressed and overwhelmed mama. And in my hungry search for routine and normalcy, I've been neglectful, even angry, at the seemingly excessive needs of my children. Though I am fully aware that they are as overwhelmed and out of sorts as I am, if not more, their neediness grasped for more attention than I wanted to give. So, instead of a patient and kind mom, they got a resentful and snippety mom. Yuck. I felt it, I knew it, and yet I wanted to sit in this defiant mud bath for awhile. The human strikes again, in all its indignant glory. I can see the reason in it. I can be kind to myself and appreciate it as a normal reaction to life events. Yet, there is so much responsibility in indulging in these feelings. Little eyes are watching, little hearts are feeling, little minds are absorbing.  I knew I had to snap out of it, or at least have a good, cathartic cry, and I did. I climbed into the shower and just let the tears pour...



Tears are like magic aren't they? When we release them, suddenly letting go is so much easier. The feelings had served their purpose in letting me know what was going on inside, but now I had to choose to focus on what was really important, my children and helping them handle their emotions, too. I had some mending to do with my babes and there is one remedy that works over and again. First, the apology. Second, we needed to have fun together--time to play and time to laugh, in whatever manner they chose. Oh, the smiles we receive when we can show our children that despite all of our adult worries, that we can still make them feel important, and that we can have good, honest F-U-N. Children thrive on it, and we should, too.

So there was frisbee soccer, there was swimming in the rec. pool and sliding down the water slide, there was snuggling and loving, there was listening to all their projects and their stories, there was signing up for volunteering at the Humane Society for dog walking, and there was talk of their hopes, their desires, and what they want out of all of this. And right now, *sigh*, what they really want is a dog......good god let there be mercy on me...

Hope you have a fantastic and invigorating weekend filled with FUN!!!
xoxo

p.s. I think this could still be loosely linked to Joy Pockets and This Moment, yes?

A Pocketful of Moments

A week full of moments and joy:

This moment was taken yesterday as we walked through the streets of downtown Boulder. What I should have done was sit down right next to her and join right in... 

Joy Pockets:

the Italian chocolate budini at Cafe Pasqual's (thanks Katie) in Santa Fe

Rt. 285 from Santa Fe through Colorado: the most stunning drive I've driven so far

stopping by Ojo Caliente Hot Springs (thanks Lisa) --beautiful place!!

 

happy reunions at the airport, especially our own :)

the morning mountain view outside my window

house hunting (even if it's just rentals, it's so much fun isn't it?)

the view from one of the homes we looked at...someone pinch me
(and no, we probably won't take it, we don't have 4 wheel drive yet--Haha!)

It's been a great, wild ride from FL to Colorado. Emotions of every kind have surfaced, permeated, and flowed right on through. From  heartache, anxiety, fear, and even the horror of watching a life disappear, to a deep, grounding sense of gratitude and humble contentment for the changes we have been able to make. With any great change there are risks we take, sacrifices we make, and even heartache we face. Warren Buffet said "Risk comes from not knowing what you're doing." I respectfully disagree and would rather say risk comes from knowing exactly what you are doing, and doing it anyway...

"Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit."
~E.E Cummings

Wishing you a beautiful weekend

♥

Onward with joy

Despite the sobering (thanks Rain for the perfect word) way yesterday ended, I remember that today is Friday, today is Joy Pockets. I have mourned this man that I didn't know. I have reflected over and over again the few, but now very percussive thoughts I had about him when he passed our car. I mourn for his family and mourn for the poor trucker who hit him. I admit it is very hard to shake these shadows that seem to have seeped into the folds of our joy. But, the plain truth is that there was joy---so much joy that I remember sitting with contentment and relishing in awareness, gifts so elusive in our busy lives.  So with one last thought of peace for all affected in yesterday's accident, and with one more nod of respect to life and to death, I remember the joy that urges us onward...

driving in the whiteness of misty morning fog

lunch at Mother's in New Orleans--the turnip greens and jambalaya!

Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop Bar on Bourbon Street--full of wood, stone, and character




New Orleans Museum of Art: Picasso, Chagall, Modigliani--need I say more?

Still Life With Candle, Picasso 1937

hearing my children's voices on the phone (I miss them so much!! They fly out to join us next week :)

the healing, soothing, sustaining nature of music...with music, everything comes alive

my road trip playlist (well part of it :)

Onward friends!!! Next stop, Austin, TX....

♥

From every cell in my body...

A collection of joy...

the surprise of a loving card on my desk (we had agreed to not do Vday this year, so I thought)...

precious time with the ones I love 

soul sister from Seattle, here!!

watching my beautiful nephew(who has SMS) read

week long fabulous hair tutorials  for clueless hair wielders like me

The Usborne Book of Drawing, Doodling, and Coloring--one of the best books for creativity and imagination I have seen, for big and little kids. Hint: watch for a giveaway soon...

and a Boho boots giveaway!!! (thanks Mon for the tip!)

patience, diligence, trust, and faith that "if anything can go well, it will.."

♥

Joy Pockets.....

A Pocketful of Moments 2.10.12

culture lessons and belly dancing at homeschool co-op

Oh it feels good to be writing a post... a Joy Pockets post no less :). I could go on about how busy I've been, but I always feel silly sharing such things. We're all busy. Whether it's stress, transitions, or just ordinary life living, we do have these things in common don't we? How we find those savory morsels of peace that elevate our mood and bring us back to center, now that is something extra-ordinary worth sharing :).

Little girls in jangling hip scarves
(oh yes, the mamas too)

the four of us howling at the full moon with abandon

waking to songs of the Northern Mockingbird

The Dangerous Book for Boys : awesome

awesome awesome book that E and I have loved reading 

and discovering together, did I say

awesome?

The Spun Monkey : I first learned about Shannon and her yarns from Ginny last year. Shannon handspins, hand-dyes, needle-felts, as well as offers lessons and classes, using locally rescued farm wool. If only I lived in Vermont!! After supporting her in her Kickstarter campaign last year, this lovely skein arrived in my mailbox. It's wonderful and inspiring to watch a person's dreams and visions grow--much love and luck to you Shannon!

a hit with the fam: panko oven-baked chicken drumsticks

being able to laugh at myself knowing that
the sweater I am knitting is already too big for me, lol,
and so it goes...:).

Going into the weekend with a little hip swagger, a lot of attitude, and some
Everlasting Light




and This Moment

Wishing you swagger in your weekend...

p.s. you may not *see* me too much in the blogosphere the next couple weeks, but please know I am still visiting and lurking in between taping and packing..
cheers...

xoxo

A Pocketful of Moments 2.3.12

Joy Pockets with Monica and This Moment with Amanda are my favorite ways to welcome Fridays. Even though I've had lack of sleep and a little cold this week, the good things were still there, waiting to catch my eye. All I had to do was try :)....

a sweet surprise in the mail from a friend...

the hilarity of Jib Jab, the kids love doing this

new music discovered:
 Daughter

hot white bean chili soup with fresh french bread

finding greater courage in taking self portraits

finding forgotten dark chocolate in the pantry

date night with hubs, but really looking forward to choosing
between Korean bbq or sushi (I know, I have my priorities straight)

almost finishing with knitting the back of my first sweater :).

And now for the love of Artists and Etsy:

Yoborobo: Originally introduced to me awhile ago thanks to Lori, these beautifully handmade dolls have a touch of the quirky, bizarre, and utterly lovable. Pam's talent extends into drawing and painting, and she is also a published children's author. Her passion for animals, monsters, and skeletons is so similar to a certain little girl I know, that I would bet that the words "spooky" and "Tim Burton" are common in their vocabulary :).

Nanette and Roger 

And have you been to Laura Emily's new shop

Good Earth Living? Laura Emily is a certified holistic wellness coach and makes all of her own herbal remedies. In her own words, "it is my true passion to help women create balance between their bodies, soul, and mind." Tinctures, lip balms (the anise seed is wonderful), clay masks, and room sprays can be found in her shop, all made with heart and purpose for holistic and natural living.

 and then This Moment with Amanda



Have a beautiful weekend!!
xo

Joy Pockets 1.7.12

I wasn't going to do Joy Pockets this week. I just didn't have the energy to be honest. Though M's fever has subsided, she is still having an awful time eating due to the canker sores that have erupted in her mouth (I've counted 10 from what I can see). It's been terrible really. This girl, who is incredibly hungry and desperate to eat, just can't chew due to the pain. So, I am doing my best with smoothies, soups, applesauce, and anything mushy I can make for her. I can't tell you how helpless I have felt this week.

BUT....here's what slapped me silly in the face today-- no matter how dark or heavy our days appear, joy is still ripe and full of readiness to bloom anyway. Sometimes it just takes someone else to show us how.

I found this girl, several minutes after another terrible fit of not being able to eat what she wanted, with her fedora and John Lennon glasses on. She said "take a picture of me Mom".

"Sure..." I said wondering how she snapped out of it so fast. And then she smiled, waiting for the shot.
I had to laugh. I told her she didn't have to smile if she didn't feel like it.

She said "But I want to smile Mom!"

Albeit not the most enthusiastic smile due to the pain, but it's a smile nonetheless. More importantly, here was a girl still seeking joy in her worst and most painful moments. And as usual, my best lessons are usually right under my nose and come directly from my children :).

So without further ado, here are my Joy Pockets for the week (and thanks to Mon for this beautiful tradition...)

cool, brisk weather and the return of mukluks

"Elizabeth"  with Cate Blanchett and a new interest in the Tudors

finishing and thoroughly enjoying A Dog's Purpose

new puppy smells (alas from a pup that belongs to a friend)

the amazing opportunity to Unravel

hunting for yarn to knit my first sweater :)

and long, hot, relaxing showers

much love
xoxo

p.s. lunar calendar giveaway still open

joy

handmade gorgeousness found here

This Moment

I found joy in:

the soft touch of a blue feather

 darling red birds to hang for the tree

the thoughtfulness of a thrifting goddess and friend

paper animals made by little hands with love

 the earthy sweet smell of pressed beeswax

 a girl's bright eyes as she delicately paints

 two happy kids who found a new way to "box" each other

And one more for joy to grow on:

The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy 
with a Glass Harp

Joining Mon for Joy Pockets (though she isn't hosting today)
 and Amanda for This Moment

much love and joy to you
xoxo

Joy Pockets and a Moment

It's been quite the cathartic week this week. Going within and exposing unhealthy thinking may not be the most "fun" thing to do, but it's invaluable, and ultimately necessary if we want to claim peace. Thanks for all your kind words regarding "Ego's grip". Balance is a beautiful thing, but being unbalanced and walking with woe for awhile, is just as important :).

Joy Pockets with Monica today

piping hot chocolate in Santa mugs

crispy 50 degree mornings

the soothing Kinfolk Vol. 2

video promo (with knitting in it!!)

grounding words from a wise friend

a sweet gift from Emily

adorable stitch markers

Gathering items for a releasing ceremony for Solstice (via Mandy)

the arrival of Earth by Amy

precious alone time with the boy,
who wanted to spend it
 shopping for his little sister--
(drip...drip... I oozed from a melting heart)

boys in trees

and This Moment with Amanda

I hope you have a beautiful weekend friends!!
xoxo

Joy Pockets and Twinkling

a glimpse of my desktop

Joy Pockets with Monica :).
Hope you join in, they are a wonderful way to celebrate the end of a week...

A good week, a busy week. Too many words on my brain though and not enough uninterrupted time to punch them out on the keys. I am looking forward to the weekend actually, looking forward to finding time to let insight pour out of my heart and head and onto the screen to breathe. I hope to share them with you next week :). Meanwhile, the joy...

I do,  I love your soul (by Jillian)

Monica's insights here, and especially here

awareness

winning a gift certificate from Cypress Sun Jewelry!!

(and you can too by joining the mailing list here)

girl pirates

top 10 quirky science tricks you can do at home

cooler days and nights

the sound of bangles

twinkling lights and Bella's 52 photos project

Hope your weekend is a beautiful one...

xoxo

Joy pockets and one for you

Wow where did this week go?! I can't believe Thanksgiving is next week!! Admittedly my thoughts are more possessed by the big move that has now been pushed back to the beginning of March. I finally resigned myself to not bother packing until after the holidays, and to try to enjoy the last few months we have here with family and friends. These will be our last holidays in this house with our entire family so close together, and that is something that I really need to savor and be mindful of :)...

Joy Pockets with Monica today AND a little giveaway for you!!!

citrus, sage, and lavender tea

alone time with the boy with above said tea and Scrabble
 (notice how the tea is gone--delicious!)

nutella and french baguette

revisiting homemade soapmaking 

this beautiful song and video, and their link to free music!

And my favorite M. quote of the week:
 "Mah-ahm, I left my manners in the underworld."

And now the GIVEAWAY! With no other reason than just because and in gratitude for the lovely and talented group of bloggers that you are, the comments that you leave, the kindness and support that you so freely give, I thank you...

Since the likelihood of us really sitting with each other to have tea or coffee is rare, I thought I could at least share a mug with you :). I am giving away a handmade mug from one of my favorite shops on Etsy: desertNova.

If you love collecting mugs, then you will adore these!! I can attest to their quality and durability, as well as the gorgeous details and designs. The artist, Len Hughes, adds a southwest flavor to her mugs. In her designs you will find hearts and stars, feathers, dragonflies, and uplifting words to name a few. So for the giveaway, take your time browsing the pages and looking at the pictures. You have your choice of one any-sized mug in the shop. They come in 12, 16 and 20 oz. sizes so make sure you pick the design you want in the size you want.  Leave me a comment with the name of the mug, the size and the item number located at the top of the mug's page. I will draw a winner on Wednesday, November 23, the day before Thanksgiving. 

much love to you my friends and have a beautiful weekend

xoxo

Pockets and Moments

I will not say this was the best week I have ever had, Mother Nature kicked my butt in the hormone department this week, and I found myself crying spontaneously in the car or when my husband just looked at me questioningly. My 9 year old son now knows that "something" happens to women once a month and for now I think that'll do :). I have learned to respect this time as a way to reconnect with my most primitive and intuitive self, to release negativity, and to allow my body to just rest. I don't resent this time as an annoyance anymore, I look at it as an opportunity to reestablish rhythm. The months where I am most stressed or imbalanced, it shows up that week, and it's a message to myself that I need to just be still. The months where it's smooth sailing, well then, those days are just fine too.

 Happy to be back with Monica and Joy Pockets this week...make a wish, it's 11.11.11 :).

Cooking with love:
Kale and white bean soup
Panko chicken with cilantro and asian chili sauce
Lentil soup with tomato and chicken sausage
(thanks so much for all of your encouragement!)

Discovering Kinfolk magazine for small gatherings, something
I look forward to regularly :)...

Watching Pirate Radio snuggled with hubs
(thanks LB for the great movie rec.)

desert Nova handmade mugs (where this one is from). I feel
a giveaway coming on (stay tuned)

fiddling with macro photography

And This Moment with Amanda...

wishing you a beautiful November weekend friends

xoxo

Joy Pockets and a Moment 10.28.11

Sharing Joy Pockets with Monica 

Something happened with the boy this week. He has found a love for writing:).

**insert wild happy happy-joy dance here **

See, for a long time, since we left the public school,
he had no interest in either reading or writing.

Inside, I had hoped that at the very least interest would return,
that old wounds of forced learning would heal and
that there would be joy for the magic of words and stories.

When we started using Rip the Page,
I let him know that he had full control of how we used the book.

 No lessons, his pace, and pure fun.

We read everyday together--stories like Peter Pan, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea,

Moby Dick, the Legend of Sleepy Hollow, Treasure Island,
all from the Great Illustrated Classic Series
 that I mentioned a couple weeks ago.

Without the pressures of performance--without worrying if

your words and spelling are perfect, that you have to please someone

or that you might fail, there is freedom to get lost in the world

of fantastical stories and delicious words.

Without boundaries you can fly, and clumsy doesn't matter.

Now, this boy is writing about dragons, guitars, and his wildest dreams.

And even better, he believes.

Seeing A Little Shop of Horrors live at the local playhouse...

Vietnamese summer rolls with peanut sauce...

wispy autumn shadows

discovering and just watching the amazing tulip tree silk moth

Hearing this song and remembering 1984 :)

and This Moment with Amanda...

 Let loose, and have a crazy beautiful weekend friends!

xoxo

Pockets and Pins

 I forgot to write my joy pockets down this week. Without them, I can see how easily weeks can slip by seemingly uneventful. But it's not true. Many moments leave subtle imprints, and unless I write them down or take a photo, they quickly disappear as just another day, just another week. The older I get the shorter the years seem, and the moments whizz by too quickly for me to count on memory...Thank goodness for writing, thank goodness for photography, thank goodness for this community of inspiring bloggers who want to remember exactly what I want to remember---that life is good.

Fridays are for Joy Pockets with Monica

Peaceful driving moments, with Patrick Watson in one headphone and the view westward home....

the power of probiotics and a healthy boy (thumbs up with the blood test results:)

a handmade purse for $20

M. and her words..."Mama, you are as beautiful as a mango."

a boy drumming all over the house

knee-high halloween socks, everyone should have a pair...

And for a little extra wonderful, I am joining LB for her weekly Pinney Party...

Images that remind me that I can find "Heaven on Earth"
(all pins found here)

source

source

source

via

Hoping you find your heaven this weekend
xoxo