Instinct, reason, and finally clarity...

Clarity.

How little you would
mean to me if
I could find and collect you
so readily...

We have come to a decision about M's schooling next year. It was a month ago when I wrote this post about her struggles with school.

Since then, and after much conversation about homeschooling, with teachers at her current school, and even with teachers from prospective schools, she and I both decided that it would be best for her to stay where she is. I have learned through these weeks of weighing in options, thoughts, feelings, and possible consequences, and weeks of conversing with her current teacher, that we are not the only ones that care about this little girl.  We are not the only ones that truly appreciate her for her relentless desire to see and live in the world the way she wants to live in it. And my husband and I are not the only ones that want to give her the support, the love, and the courage to help her create her own mold, rather than try to fit in any other.

Truth:

Trust begins when we let people in.
Trust evolves because we listen, then consider that perhaps we don't have to do it alone.
Trust is established when we believe that together, we can make a difference.

I am still learning. I think the Montessori method has helped me understand that the struggles my daughter is going through are happening for a reason, and that if I just wait--be there, but just wait, she will learn and work things out on her own with consistent support and consistent communication. I think the teachers who have spent hours with my daughter have offered another perspective that only an attentive and qualified teacher could. They have impressed me with how well they know my children, and I have finally begun to trust a process not entirely in my control. I don't like to see my children struggle, but we parents know that someday somehow they will, no-- they must in order to figure themselves out, to understand how they can adapt in situations out of their own control. I can see my child struggle, offer comfort and support, but I don't have to swoop in and fix it. Someone else has got my back now, someone else has got my children's backs, and together we can work to help them learn how to help themselves, to gain the sense of accomplishment and confidence that can only be gained through facing adversity.

It does take a village, it absolutely does...

Wishing you a lovely weekend...

xoxo

Yarn Along ~ Squares, doodles, and a surprise

Joining Ginny once again for Yarn Along!!

I started working on the vintage crocheted afghan I showed you last week.  The hardest part is staying conscious of the conversions or I find myself doing the wrong stitches.  The rebellious side of me wants to say---who cares! As long as it measures up and it still looks like a flower, right?!  Then that other voice says--what?? Deviate from the pattern??  Then I remember all of my lovely friends that don't even use patterns, and I think--why not?? 

I finished Forgotten Garden :).  It's a wonderful book and I recommend it to anyone who loves mysteries, fairy tales, and drama.  As far as new books, I have been drooling over the newest issue of Flea Market Style, which also has a lovely blog.  But the biggest surprise is what I've found at Anthropologie!  As expensive as it is, I still have to torture myself and browse the place.  I absolutely adore the style, the furniture, the dishes, the little details--, you know what I mean right?  I have noticed lately that they have been expanding their book section and selections.  Decorating books, cookbooks, kids' books, art books, etc.  I usually go straight to the sale section and what I found that day was Made at Home: A guide to simple sewing by Lisa Stickley.  Originally $23, I got it for $10!  It looks lovely and I can't wait to really dig in.  Then, though not on sale, but reasonable, I found these for the kids: 

Doodles for Breakfast, Doodles for Lunch, and Doodles for Dinner are adorable tear out placemat books.  Each page is alphabetical, and has step by step visual directions, using that  letter to help create the doodle.  So it's learning while doodling!!

Let me show you.  The doodles E. is working on are a "helicopter", using the lowercase "h" (sideways), and "Grandpa", using the uppercase "G" to draw Grandpa's head.  Can you see?





Cool right? Well, I thought of you all because I got an extra copy of Doodles for Dinner and want to give it away!  Just leave me a comment on today's post and I'll "draw" the winner tomorrow!!

Looking forward to your yarn along today :)!!

The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want." ~ Ben Stein

Decisions, decisons.  Between E. and M.  possibly going back to school and our house receiving our first offer, my mind has been a little preoccupied this past week.  The little daily decisions we make that steer the course of our days seem effortless most of the time.  So when the "life-changers" come along, the sudden heaviness can be tough to take. 

When my son first proposed going back to Montessori, I had that heaviness hit me in a moment.  I knew his need to spend more time with peers was growing by the day.   Coordinating schedules with other homeschool families can be very challenging, especially when most families have children of multiple ages with multiple (and usually varying) needs.  While M. has no problems entertaining herself, E. prefers companionship and interaction.  I realized that school may be part of E.'s solution to try to meet that need.  I also knew he chose Montessori as he believed there was more freedom in learning with that choice, than public school.  M., well, I think she agreed to go along with her brother because he didn't want to go by himself.  She is just supportive that way :).

As unsure as I was of this idea, I decided I needed to trust. They should have the opportunity to go through this decision making process.  This part was hard for me of course.  It would have been so much simpler to convince them of MY reasons for why homeschooling was a better choice, and remind them of what they would be giving up.  It would have been easier, but I don't think it would have been fair.  They don't learn much if I make all the choices for them.  They already know what I believe, but they need to start trusting their own choices, with our guidance available always.

So, we moved forward.  We found an A.M.I. certified school, we went and toured the school, and we had two different meetings with the teachers.  It was a lovely place that had a chinchilla, 2 rats, finches, and a frog for pets.  The teachers seemed kind and knowledgeable, but I was more interested in seeing what the kids were curious about.  After those visits, I waited with baited breath to see what they had thought.  M., who never has issue with blurting out what she wants, let me know that going there a couple times a week would be okay, but that's it.  E. was more pensive, and I could see he was weighing the pros and cons in his mind.  He agreed with M., while it might be fun to be there part-time, it didn't seem right to be inside one room all day, every day, not for learning-- even if there were other kids there.  I spoke with the school about a part-time option, but there was none, not for their age group and not for this style of classroom.

Sometimes there is no such thing as the perfect choice, just the best choice based on what we know about ourselves and what we really want.  Not having exactly what we want should inspire us to create new choices and opportunities of our own, and I think for us, homeschooling gives us the freedom to do just that.  So now we do the work to find ways to meet our needs.  We feel inspired and have new resolve.   Homeschooling has never been the easiest choice, but it's definitely an empowering choice.  I think both kids may understand this better on some level now and they remain the happy, spirited beings they have always been.  As far as our house, we chose not to take the first offer.  Another opportunity will come again when the time is right :).

Thanks for all your thoughtful words and sharing this part of our journey with me :).

"Choosing to live your life by your own choices is the greatest freedom you will ever have." ~ Shad Helmstetter

"Go for it now. The future is promised to no one." ~ Wayne Dyer

No one promised me anything when we started unschooling. No one promised that my kids would spontaneously love learning, or that they would read a book voluntarily and independently, or that they would write in full sentences because they wanted to, not because they had to. There were no promised pictures that our home would become a bubbling cauldron of natural learning and joy, oozing with enthusiasm and curiosity for knowledge. There are no guarantees that natural learning will lead to happy, secure, and successful future lives. So why did we choose to unschool? Why choose a way of learning wrought with uncertainty, unconventionality, and fear of the unknown? Two words. Hope and possibility. Hope that there is a better way to live and learn, giving rise to endless possibilities...

Dad's favorite, now passed on to son, Pente.

Ice Lanterns

Ok, I take it back. Unschooling does promise one thing. Learning happens all the time.

"Develop a passion for learning, if you do, you will never cease to grow." ~ Anthony J. D'Angelo

I never wanted to learn to sew a button.  From the time I was about 10 to when I moved out of the house to go to college, my mom tried to teach me to sew. I had no interest.  With no recollection for what I was interested in at the time, I am resigned to believe that whatever it was, it must have been important. Yet I feel I may have neglected learning something deeper than just a few domestic skills. Perhaps I feel I have neglected to learn the essence of being self-sustaining, in its deepest, truest sense.

So with enthusiasm, despite less nimble fingers and early aging eyesight, my new passion for handmade and determination to learn to sew, crochet, cook (better), garden, and just plain create, has never, ever, been stronger.  I feel an indispensable responsibility to not only learn these things for myself, but to share them with the kids.  I would hope that we all find the profound satisfaction and joy of creating something of use for ourselves or someone else and to not just be a consumer of all things.  

Monticello's garden--my dream garden...

Gorgeous broccoli...