Everything and nothing

This weekend, we had three very quiet, childless days as my boy and girl headed south to Palm Beach with their grandparents. It's been a long while since my house was that silent for that long, but my mission was clear. Armed with boxes, a sharpie and packing tape, my chance had arrived to tackle my children's bedrooms.

Looking around at all of the (temporarily) abandoned toys, lifeless and calm from their vacated playmates, I could still feel my children here, like a scent that weaves itself through a home, laying claim to everything it touches. As I bent down to clean up this little table of wooden chairs, with gemstones and rocks placed attentively on every surface, with wooden animals, horse stickers, and magnet skeletonheads in attendance, I could hear my daughter's voice in each and every character. Dismantling it right away just didn't feel right, and I wondered at the story behind it all. I paused, gazed, and listened.

And it was the same in my son's room, my son who saves everything...from an old bloody bandaid pinned up on his wall (boys....), to a magazine collage of teddy bears he made when we was three, to a 5 foot long crochet chain he made when he was six. As often I as I have been disgruntled at these objects, toys, and souvenirs, stepping on them, tripping over them, and having cleaned them up every other day, I do know they have been essential to my children's stories, passions, and youth.

I know I am overly sentimental lately, and maybe paying more attention to the little sparks and reflections that tell us who we are provides comfort. In the end though, these sentimental feelings really are only reflections, and a validation that things change, move, flow, evolve.

So some things have been neatly and gently packed, others have been placed in a give away pile, and most things have been placed in a sell pile, including my large, green, beautiful shelf from Bali.
And from this I am learning.
I am finding peace in knowing I have taken nothing for granted.
I am finding peace in knowing I am deeply grateful for everything.
And with this peace, I am finding that I can let it all go...

"That nothing is static or fixed, that all is fleeting and impermanent, is the first mark of existence. It is the ordinary state of affairs. Everything is in process. Everything—every tree, every blade of grass, all the animals, insects, human beings, buildings, the animate and the inanimate—is always changing, moment to moment."
~ Pema Chodron

Wishing you a beautiful Monday...

Linking with Amanda for Weekending...
 xoxo

how to say goodbye

whittling, bow and arrows, and an atl atl--a very productive weekend

this cutie belongs to our friends--it's even cuter on the inside!

a neighboring camper's '49 Chrysler

a home for ? I heard it, but never saw it...

best pot roast on the planet--thanks John!

lots of knitting, I can still smell the fire in the yarn :).

our campsite was minutes from the beach :).

I don't think much about having to say goodbye, not until that moment comes and suddenly I am at a loss for words. Whether they are friends that we see often, or friends that we see occasionally, the reason we have remained friends throughout the years is because we have shared experiences that will last longer in our memories than the seconds we actually spent together.

That is how I feel about the "gang", as we call them. At the core, there are about 10-12 of us. I have only known them as long as I began dating my husband, but it was clear to me from the beginning that this eclectic group wasn't like any other that I had ever met. Each, with their own story and from all walks of life, had a bond with the other that is authentic and unique, kind and generous, loyal and honest. We don't see them that much, maybe twice or three times a year if we are lucky. We have grown together through marriages, breakups, moves, family problems, personal joys, deaths, births, and birthdays. We may not know all the details in each other's lives, but I am not sure we really have to. All of that seems unnecessary when we gather, as our focus remains on enjoying what's in front of us. And usually, what we enjoy with each other the most, is camping. In the midst of the outdoors and in nature, we enjoy each other's company in laughter, and in silence, with thoughtfulness, with sharing, and of course, with good campfire food :).

If I remember correctly, we started camping with the gang at least once every year for the past 5 years, beginning when E. was 4 and M. was 2. We have camped in many different campgrounds all across the state. We even spent Thanksgiving together one year in the hills of North Carolina just outside of Asheville. Many memories have been made in the woods across Florida and honestly, I can't imagine camping with any other folks. Plainly, camping will not be the same without them. The live-oak filled woods, a good fire, delicious dutch oven meals, funny stories, some reminiscing and even the humongous raccoons, that is exactly how I would have liked to say goodbye to the gang, and that is exactly what we did. Well maybe not goodbye, but until the next campfire, thank you my friends...

much love

xoxo

linking with Amanda for Weekending...