"We are all wanderers on this earth...our hearts are full of wonder, and our souls are deep with dreams." ~ Gypsy proverb

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

"Breaking up is hard to do." ~ Neil Sedaka

Fear and perfectionism have been good friends of mine for many years. They have kept me out of trouble and completely risk free. They have made sure that everything always appeared good, despite how I felt. And they have kept me from starting anything new unless I really had a good handle and knowledge about what I was about to embark on-- you know, so I would look like I knew what I was doing.  Well, in the past few years, we have had a falling out, me, fear and perfectionism. When I realized that they fall into that friendship category of "energy suckers", I started to try to break free. Slowly, but with renewed confidence, I started standing up to fear and telling her that I didn't care if she hung around, she can't hold me back anymore, and I will do what I truly want, despite her presence. And perfectionism, well, I just told her it would be a lie to remain friends with her. I told her I could never live up to her ideals, and I really don't want to. I told her that I am imperfect, flawed, and feel free being that way.

Well, let me tell you, they didn't like hearing any of it, and they still try to come into my life and tell me that I am making a mistake. I tell them that I am okay with making mistakes. Making mistakes is what gives me the strength to be who I am and who I grow to be. Yeah, fear and perfectionism, they still still hang around, hoping that I might come crawling back to them. But I have other friends now, friends that have always been there, but just seemed to have stepped up to the plate to bat for me. Courage and forgiveness. Without courage and forgiveness, change would be impossible, growth would be improbable. Thanks you, courage and forgiveness and welcome...

3 comments:

  1. So true and well put MJ.

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  2. Good for you!

    I've not said "get lost" to perfectionism, yet.
    That doesn't mean I'm perfect, mind you, it just means that I still feel great guilt and embarrassment over it.
    oof. What a ridiculous thing to say. :) I'm getting closer!

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  3. Aaagh, guilt!! That's the other one that hangs around!! Thanks for stopping by Stephanie! It is so nice to meet you :).

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“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
~ George Bernard Shaw