"We are all wanderers on this earth...our hearts are full of wonder, and our souls are deep with dreams." ~ Gypsy proverb

Thursday, July 14, 2011

I want them to know

I dont' believe in any such thing as an easy life. Some are harder or easier than others, but we all travel down the road of hurt one way or another. Some recover beautifully and use their experiences to give others all they can, mostly because they know what it takes to find peace. Others seem to never find their way and lead a life of pain, drama, and turmoil. And I think the rest of us fall somewhere along the middle, sometimes finding reparation and redemption, and other times hanging on to the bitterness.

So when I look at my babies' little faces, full of brightness, hope, eagerness, and innocence, what do I want them to know when they come along that path of pain? What are the words I want them to remember when they reach their own depths of sorrow?

I would want them to know they are not alone. They are never alone, even when the darkness closes in and all they want to do is lock the door.

I want them to know that they will always have a choice, and that love, compassion, kindness, and patience will always be the right answer. Hate, spitefulness, indignation, revenge spreads like a disease, and will destroy everything in its path, including the one that wields it.

I want them to know that abundance never leaves, only our awareness of it does. Finding the paths that lead to greater awareness will reveal abundance over and again.

I want them to know that unspoken anger, unspoken resentment, and unhealed hurts never go away, and sometimes the way to peace is through the pain, not around it.

I want them to know that one of the greatest gifts they can give themselves or to someone else is forgiveness. And through forgiveness, the path to peace will shine its brightest.

And finally, I want them to know that nothing is permanent (just as tough times don't last). Change is inevitable and how change affects us depends on our perspective of things.

I believe that good does not exist without bad, and sorrow does not exist without joy. We find balance by accepting both, learning from each, without forgetting the other. Today I want to remember these things and send warmth and strength to those that need it.

much love
xx oo

P.S. What are the things you would want your children to know ?


  1. Oh MJ...have I told you that I love you?? Such beautiful words to live by. As I struggle to piece my life back together and try to model the very important things I wish for my son to know, I spend a huge about of time and worry over this very question.... I come from a long line of people who devote much energy to freely and ignorantly passing judgement on others; who admire their own racism and sexism, have no room for compassion or empathy, hold tight to their homophobia, and deeply fear exposure to anything or anyone different from the status quo, or from them. Compassion, empathy, kindness, hope and perseverance to slay these dragons are just some of the things I so wish to teach my son, by way of making peace within myself and living a life infused with these gifts. May they be ours.

  2. Such a peaceful post. I think if there is one thing that I want my children to know is that there is always choice. I think with the some of the school decisions we made in the past and a few other life decsions lots of conversation has come up that there is not just one path for all. They can create their own journey and I'll be there. As for the painful and disturbing truths that will come up in life my plan is always talk to them. And then talk some more.

  3. Ah you are so brilliant and such an incredible mother. I think I want them to know that they create the world with their thoughts and that their happiness comes from within-not other things or people, not to mention the beautiful truths you wrote about in the post.

  4. i want them to know that all people are unique. i want them to know how to stand up when they fall. i want them to know they can think on theyr own. i want them to know and dare to be different. i want them to know they are loved. always

  5. I want them to know that there are always 2 sides to every story and that sometimes the truth is harder to recognize, especially when you want so much to believe one way or another.
    I would want them to know that no matter what, family, all family, every one of them is important, valid, and beautiful. Not just a chosen few.
    I want them to know that they should always remember humility, love, and respect.. And to give it often and to everyone.
    I want them to love without prejudice or judgment. But with an open and warm heart.
    I want them to always feel safe and to know that they always have a warm, safe place to fall.
    I want them to know that doing the right thing doesn't always feel good or make you popular, but it's still what's best in the end.
    Love and Light.

  6. Beautiful! On the road right now, but i will post my answer when i get back. It will give me sometime to think about it. Thanks for the words and the inspiration :)

  7. Beautiful post. "sometimes the way to peace is through the pain, not around it." No truer words have been spoken!

    Sometimes I feel so muddled in the minutia of life I lose sight of what is important. Thanks for the reminder!

  8. "I want them to know that unspoken anger, unspoken resentment, and unhealed hurts never go away, and sometimes the way to peace is through the pain, not around it"
    Such beautiful words i am travelling this journey right now with my own mother and know peace will come but to read it like this brings lightness to my heavy heart.. thankyou. I will add later what i want my daughter to know : ) x

  9. I have always told my children to 'forgive'. Without forgiveness, there is no peace for anyone. I also have taught them to love and to
    not judge others since we all are in different places in this world and we are all different. Being different is what makes life interesting [I think]and I think it's what helps us grow as people. xx

  10. This has been a very beautiful, peaceful post. Thank you for sharing.

    "I believe that good does not exist without bad, and sorrow does not exist without joy." -- I often have to remind myself, and Chase, of this.

    It's hard when things are going so well that they could also be going really bad, just like when we are saddened it's hard to remember that things do get better.

  11. gorgeous words, thoughts + hopes for your children...how lucky they are to have such a wonderful guide in life!

    i want my children to be true to themselves, to learn to trust + love themselves. with that love they can then extend goodness to others. also i'd hope they would practice compassion + kindness- + see that no kind deed is too small to be done.

    i'd also want them to know that nothing is to be feared, just understood {stolen from madame curie!} + that they will make mistakes, but to learn from them; scrap ongoing guilt- move on, because it's wasted energy.

    lastly to be a light in the world + help make it a better place in their own unique way!

    {+ everything that you so eloquently said! thank you for this post, it was truly beautiful :)}

  12. Ah MJ. What can one say about such a beautiful, exposed and raw post. I think we all want our children to know that, but more importantly, I think WE all need to know that, because in living it's truth, it will become a part of their lives in a way that needs no words. When the dark times come, as they surely do to most of us, the way that we handle them is the way they will handle them too.

    I needed this.

  13. What a beautiful, thoughtful post. Words of someone who has lived life, a good and thoughtful life. I want my children to know that that they are loved unconditionally - not for what they will become, but because of who they are, right now and that I love them no matter what mistakes they make in this journey.

  14. MJ… I want you to know your words have been sifting into me for days. I didn't have a comment until now (does that make sense? How the response sometimes can take a minute because the words are so extraordinary you are left quite quiet), but I have been coming and coming back to their energy. They have been finding space inside me, calmly, curling up.

    And they have brought me such fine, clear space. They lead me to imagine myself (or us together) either walking under your trees in silence, or beside my sea. At peace.

    Every part of me said Yes, and says Yes to your words. They are just stunning. I have linked to it, and I hope that is good with you, dear friend. THANK YOU.

  15. I pray this for my children too MJ.
    A truly beautiful post.


“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
~ George Bernard Shaw