Joining Bella's 52 photo projects today, with the theme "silhouettes".
I realize that August is coming to a close in a week, and with it the August break, and even the Index Card a Day challenge (which I've been neglecting a bit). In the last couple weeks, I seemed to have taken a break from nearly everything--the knitting, the journaling, the icads, even photos have become sparse (only the reading hasn't suffered--that never seems to suffer ;). There's been a lot of thinking though, and a lot of angst.
I know all the right words and principles about living in the moment, keeping awareness and having gratitude for what I have. I've learned enough about those things to know in my head and heart what's important. But sometimes the knowing just isn't enough. Sometimes the feelings still sit, simmering in that distant corner of my mind. Sometimes it hurts to know exactly what I want and not be able to reach it quite yet. And when I slow down, those distant feelings bulldoze to the forefront saying "remember me?"
My last post with Desiderata was a reminder to myself about what to do with those feelings. My father loved that poem, yet he died with so much sadness. I guess that is maybe why I have been so militant about defining my own feelings, analyzing them, finding the reasons and trying to fix them. What slowing down does though, is it allows me to just sit with them, shake hands maybe, and make peace. It allows me to say "I know you are there and I know you have something to say." And that's it.
"Whether or not it is clear to you, the universe is unfolding as it should..." ~ from Desiderata
much love
xx oo
Awesome photo!
ReplyDeletenamaste
Carol (A Creative Harbor) ~ visiting from 52 Photo Projects
Love that shot!
ReplyDeleteYes, sometimes it is the hardest thing to acknowledge your feelings and sit with them instead of figuring out what to DO with them. Useless business seems to be a great repressive tool! Sigh.
ReplyDeleteBut I wholeheartedly agree with the Desiderata...the story is unfolding as it should, whether or not we feel like we've figured it all out!
I wish you peace, dear friend. That poem was beautiful, this picture stunning.
ReplyDeleteMJ, your post sounds so sad. I hope you find the peace in your life that you are reaching for and your day's grow and blossom with happiness. Much love. xx
ReplyDeleteOh Tracey, thanks so much. A little sad yes, but not down and out :). Just trying to sit with transitional feelings :).
ReplyDeletexx oo
Blessings to you this day, dear. You speak so much truth - "sometimes the knowing just isn't enough" and I treasure your honesty. May the universe unfold as it should for both of us...just a little bit faster, or at least keep us focused on other things so that we don't count the minutes. xoxo
ReplyDeleteLovely image and beautiful words...so honest MJ. Wishing you happiness and clarity. x
ReplyDeleteTransition is one of the most challenging things for me, and I feel like the past year has been completely out of control for us, as we've been told we'd be sent one place and then another, and then that we'd stay put. A different situation from yours, of course, but I think some of the feelings are similar. I have that same tendency to want to analyze and 'fix' my feelings, too, but the path of simply acknowledging and being in the presence of them brings so much more peace when I actually manage to choose it over the other. Wishing you lots of peace and contentment.
ReplyDeleteYou know we'll all understand if your break needs to extend beyond August. I enjoy this space just as much now as when you're not in break mode!
Though I'm sure our situations are different, I've been feeling awfully similar these past months. Hoping you can put your mind at rest a little. :]
ReplyDeletebeautiful photo mj. i wish i would've given you a hug now when you told me of your father's passing. i hope you can reach him spiritually to make more sense and understanding of the truth. i loved my grandfather like a father too and this makes me think of how i speak of his passing. he was such a passionate, musical lover of life while i had him and then at the end he wanted to die and was sad. i hope to die in peace one day, and i like to think that he did - although sadly, i was not there (he was in germany and i in california). for him, i think it was his body talking - ready to be done. he suffered from diabetes and i think in the end he was very tired.
ReplyDeleteAfter admiring your beautiful photograph and reading your moving words, this is what popped in mind.
ReplyDeleteOur experiences lead us to finding the right key to unlock the meaning of our heart's desires.
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ReplyDeleteGreat photo, MJ. Transition is difficult for most of us but only the enlightened ones have the courage to see the struggle in it and face things as the "unfold". It sounds like you're doing just fine to me, friend.
ReplyDeleteThat sadness you speak of sounds familiar. There are times when I feel as if that burden was left with me to carry on. More than anything it's the heartbreak that I can't go back and ease it more for him.
ReplyDeleteHugs
~Andrea
Seems to that these feelings you are having are a theme this week :) If you have a moment:
ReplyDeletehttp://lifesbestdays.blogspot.com/2011/08/time.html
An honest, moving post. I hope the sadness and angst subsides quickly. Gorgeous, restful image to focus on here x
ReplyDeleteBeautiful picture. And beautiful quote from Desiderata. Sometimes it is hard to face those not so good feelings, but we indeed have to take them for what they are instead of labeling this is happy or this sad. I think what you are doing, slowing down and "shaking hands" (like that) with them is a terrific thing. You are on a great path! :)
ReplyDeleteyes, i don't believe that spiritual awareness and all the teachings we know, mean that we try to fix or quickly move past 'negative' feelings. yes, just sitting with them is often enough for this moment.
ReplyDeleteSuch a lovely photo.
ReplyDeleteIt happens to me too, mostly when I slow down and there is room for the sadness (or feelings left untended) to show up. Wishing you comfort & peace as you sit with yours.
Your photo is gorgeous, as are you inside and out! I know exactly what you mean. Sit with your feelings and may you have comfort and peace as you sit and explore what is inside you.
ReplyDeleteboy. I think you and I need to sit down with a beer by your pool. : )
ReplyDeleteI get it fully. I am personal messaging you via email now...have a little more to say.
XO
this photo is so fantastic....what a great choice for your silhouette and I am so sharing the quote! ~wonderful~
ReplyDeleteMJ, I didn't have words to comment before, because they had all fled. I was sitting in a strange, raw and vulnerable space at the same time, perhaps the exact same moment as you? I thought, Where are my words? Why can't I bring them here and say to MJ: I am thinking of you. Feeling, so deeply, for you. Here with you.
ReplyDeleteThis is what I would have liked to say then, but the words refused to come. Now, it's late, but I hope this comment still connects, in some small way. I hope the sitting, and the taking time, has brought you peace. You bring me peace, so often, in so many ways, MJ. I am so grateful for you and everything you share. Sending love.
I love this - my girlfriend and I used to collect keys like these in college- this is lovely, simply magical.
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