|my new favorite mug--"breathe"|
Oh it was a good weekend. I was soooo not "productive". I did nothing but enjoy the things that I love... I knitted, read, practiced with the polaroid (#1 and #5, not so bad, eh?), watched movies, listened and sang out loud to great music.
We took the kids to our favorite park, just look at this park and you can see why it's our favorite...
I can feel it coming you know. The impending close of our time here in FL. My family keeps asking me where we are going and when we are leaving. I have never been without my mother and my brother nearby. I watched the cousins playing together, and I could feel everything. I could feel the apprehension, the tightness, the inevitable sadness of our separation, and I think I am sweeping the expulsion of those emotions to a corner labeled "face later."
My mom said something interesting to me this weekend. She said, "I don't recognize you anymore! You are so relaxed. You don't even know where you are going... or when..." Ahh, it's true I thought. I don't know. I don't know and I am okay with it. Maybe I am finally making peace with the unknown, the repetitiveness of the education finally sinking in. There is a balance between the two opposing ends of fearing what we will lose and being excited about what we may gain. There is no turmoil when we understand the weight of each is equal, only calm. I may not be here in this peaceful-in-between for long as the packing and the goodbye's begin. But I hope I remember how it feels for now, while I still have the hang of it...
Loss And Gain
When I compare
What I have lost with what I have gained,
What I have missed with what attained,
Little room do I find for pride.
I am aware
How many days have been idly spent;
How like an arrow the good intent
Has fallen short or been turned aside.
But who shall dare
To measure loss and gain in this wise?
Defeat may be victory in disguise;
The lowest ebb is the turn of the tide.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
much love to you on this Monday....
Linking today with Amanda for Weekending...