"We are all wanderers on this earth...our hearts are full of wonder, and our souls are deep with dreams." ~ Gypsy proverb

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Whirring...inside out

The wind outside beats against my window clawing to come in

And I am mesmerized by the whirring of my insides clamoring to get out

I am mesmerized by
the hum, the vibration, of my
daring need to fly

I am mesmerized by
our jagged armor held together by melted glue

If you let me in, if you peel what sticks to you and expose the deep reds and blues that line the inside of you

we can whir together and beat the hollowness like wild beasts making music

and dance until
our insides are hanging wildly about

Is it really Wednesday already? Is it already half way past October? I am truly whirling and the days are a blur. I close my eyes and imagine myself in a train station with people and trains buzzing past me on fast forward. Slowly, I extend my left leg out and try to trip time off its feet. But we know how miserably I fail.

So I recount time here: pumpkin patches, screen printing class, a soul sister visiting from Chicago for 4 hours, a book binding class, discovering new music, learning to knit cables, reading Rilke, Whyte, Nin and Oliver, writing deeply in journals (which feels like slicing a pumpkin wide open, and I can see my fleshy insides exposed), and carving pumpkins only to have them devoured by fat squirrels. No one told us about the squirrels and their fancy for pumpkins. Florida squirrels never did that. So we bought more pumpkins for dramatically moved girl who cried out in woe for her demised pumpkin that she named. And then we roasted the pumpkin seeds with butter and salt, mmmmm.


Good Wednesday to you my fellow time travelers...



  1. Great post, MJ.
    I know October is my favorite month and we have not even had one leaf fight yet...hardly got any apples...I feel I am getting robbed of really experiencing this month. Working on slowness. And yes, know you know why we call those cute squirrels "tree rats". It is also why I have pretty artificial pumpkins outside and the real ones inside.

  2. those squirrels are hungry and know good food! poor little m. i hope she likes her new pumpkin. screen printing class and book binding class - cool! for you? the kids? or both? sounds like life is good mj.

  3. I love the image of you roasting pumpkin seeds and breathing in all the west's autumn has to offer. I love your wagon and tractor picture. Once, we were in Montana and as an elk stood in front of us, our middle daughter said, "MOM! DAD! Look, a squirrel!" Without any on our island, our girls have become quite obsessed.

  4. pumpkin eating squirrels!! I've never hard of that...our little squirrels haven't twigged onto that yet! I love your words and seeing as its been so windy and stormy here of late and my life in general just seeming so hectic and blurry I can identify so well with feeling like I need to escape my body and the feelings of vulnerability that come from self expression. Take care van guard yer pumpkins! ;)

  5. cheeky squirrels!

    my blur and whir has passed (for now) and i rest. riding the transition of season and soul.

    enjoying seeing your whir.

  6. goodness. whirring, indeed! so sorry about the gluttonous squirrels. on the good side, you get to eat more roasted pumpkins seeds. ;)

    the journals have been like a soft punch in the gut. all these things that I knew were there in the deep dark, but to actually let it all come out and see it staring back at me - the tears have been free-flowing this past week.

    much love to you!

  7. Beautiful MJ, can't wait to see your cables.
    I've gotten back back into knitting lately too. : )
    Must be the season change.
    Much Love,

  8. love the heart song
    so beautiful
    insides hanging out
    love the realness of that action

    and about those squirrels...rotters
    guess that is why they are fat! lol

    dancing into Thursday
    Love and Light

  9. This post read like one big wave...building, cresting, falling. Love. And damn those squirrels. xo

  10. things are whirring in my corner of the world as well. loved reading your words.

    and darn those squirrels...grrrr.


“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
~ George Bernard Shaw