And I am mesmerized by the whirring of my insides clamoring to get out
I am mesmerized by
the hum, the vibration, of my
daring need to fly
I am mesmerized by
our jagged armor held together by melted glue
If you let me in, if you peel what sticks to you and expose the deep reds and blues that line the inside of you
we can whir together and beat the hollowness like wild beasts making music
and dance until
our insides are hanging wildly about
So I recount time here: pumpkin patches, screen printing class, a soul sister visiting from Chicago for 4 hours, a book binding class, discovering new music, learning to knit cables, reading Rilke, Whyte, Nin and Oliver, writing deeply in journals (which feels like slicing a pumpkin wide open, and I can see my fleshy insides exposed), and carving pumpkins only to have them devoured by fat squirrels. No one told us about the squirrels and their fancy for pumpkins. Florida squirrels never did that. So we bought more pumpkins for dramatically moved girl who cried out in woe for her demised pumpkin that she named. And then we roasted the pumpkin seeds with butter and salt, mmmmm.
:).
Good Wednesday to you my fellow time travelers...
xoxo
Great post, MJ.
ReplyDeleteI know October is my favorite month and we have not even had one leaf fight yet...hardly got any apples...I feel I am getting robbed of really experiencing this month. Working on slowness. And yes, know you know why we call those cute squirrels "tree rats". It is also why I have pretty artificial pumpkins outside and the real ones inside.
Cheers,
Leah
those squirrels are hungry and know good food! poor little m. i hope she likes her new pumpkin. screen printing class and book binding class - cool! for you? the kids? or both? sounds like life is good mj.
ReplyDeleteI love the image of you roasting pumpkin seeds and breathing in all the west's autumn has to offer. I love your wagon and tractor picture. Once, we were in Montana and as an elk stood in front of us, our middle daughter said, "MOM! DAD! Look, a squirrel!" Without any on our island, our girls have become quite obsessed.
ReplyDeletepumpkin eating squirrels!! I've never hard of that...our little squirrels haven't twigged onto that yet! I love your words and seeing as its been so windy and stormy here of late and my life in general just seeming so hectic and blurry I can identify so well with feeling like I need to escape my body and the feelings of vulnerability that come from self expression. Take care van guard yer pumpkins! ;)
ReplyDeletecheeky squirrels!
ReplyDeletemy blur and whir has passed (for now) and i rest. riding the transition of season and soul.
enjoying seeing your whir.
goodness. whirring, indeed! so sorry about the gluttonous squirrels. on the good side, you get to eat more roasted pumpkins seeds. ;)
ReplyDeletethe journals have been like a soft punch in the gut. all these things that I knew were there in the deep dark, but to actually let it all come out and see it staring back at me - the tears have been free-flowing this past week.
much love to you!
Beautiful MJ, can't wait to see your cables.
ReplyDeleteI've gotten back back into knitting lately too. : )
Must be the season change.
Much Love,
C
love the heart song
ReplyDeleteso beautiful
insides hanging out
love the realness of that action
and about those squirrels...rotters
guess that is why they are fat! lol
dancing into Thursday
Love and Light
This post read like one big wave...building, cresting, falling. Love. And damn those squirrels. xo
ReplyDeletethings are whirring in my corner of the world as well. loved reading your words.
ReplyDeleteand darn those squirrels...grrrr.