Tears, tears, tears. My eyes are leaking a lot lately. Some good things, many stressful things, sad things, sometimes regretful things. I have learned to be friendly to my tears and not shut them out when they want to visit. Not that I have any control over them anymore. Maybe this happens as we get older. It's far too much energy to not cry than it is to just let them fall away. Powerful moments of gratitude, sadness, solitude, love and exhilaration take their long, delicate fingers and curl them around my heart, squeezing until the water flows.
I cried while dancing in my class last week. That shook me by surprise. I was in the music, moving this body and stretching my arms up, reaching for things beyond what was in that room. Then, a wave of emotion climbed up my spine, through my lungs and throat then out my eyes, flooding, cleansing and washing out whatever they yearned to define. These were happy, overwhelming, completely immersed-in-what-I-was-doing tears, tears of feeling connected with things that I could not see, only feel, and feel very deeply. Maybe that is why when we cry, our vision gets blocked and blurred. In that moment, we aren't meant to see anything.
Wishing you a wonderful Thursday, tears and all...
A weight is tied to the tongue of my thoughts lately. A strange feeling, one that use to terrify me actually. Where I am all emotion and no words surface to explain it away to make it manageable. It has taken me years but I understand now.
This space is a place where I am suppose to do nothing but feel.
Natural.
Necessary.
Urgent.
It means there are emotions here that have gathered like stars, stars that have become attracted to and spin around each other. They swarm in the space where all souls begin, in the chest, near the heart, and above the pit of our stomachs. Where breath begins and ends, where the beating of our heart commands everything else. A space a million miles away from our heads.
Once they gather, an energy emerges that vibrates outward, traveling from that soul space, trickling through the organs, across blood vessels and nerves, and finally leaping through my skin, radiating out the tiny hairs like sparks from a sparkler, gathering speed, gathering momentum....
And suddenly, I am alight.
I am without thought,
and my limbs have an indomitable urge to move,
to dance, to spin, to stomp, to jump.
There is no need to fight it, no reason to resist.
With my underbelly exposed, I extend my arms, close my eyes,
and I flow...
I am the stars, I am the light
I am the emotion,
and I feel everything without judgement or thought
in this space, in this beautiful space where no words exist, where my body moves to
express what I am...
Sometimes we have reason to talk less and feel more, and running away with our emotions feels good. Passion and creativity can lie in these spaces and drowning in feeling is like swimming with a deeper part of ourselves. I can stay here for a little while, and know I have taken a lovely excursion without going anywhere but within. Yet, coming up to breathe is essential and reminds us that above the surface is where life takes meaning. It is where we paint the canvas to explain where we have been and where we wish to go. This is our duality, our yin and our yang, our permission to fall behind, as well as our permission to shine...make no excuses. You are just as beautiful in the dark cold depths as well as in the warmth of the yellow sun.
"There can be no transforming of darkness into light and of apathy into movement without emotion."
-Carl G Jung
