Things that don't last

I don't like pressure very much. I know some people thrive and shine under it. Not me. I feel every aching stress fracture that ripples beneath it. And what kind of pressure do I ever have to deal with anyway? I mean, I am not an air traffic controller or a surgeon or anything like! No no, mine is more of the self-imposed kind. When there is something I want to do for somebody, I want it to be sooooo good, impeccable actually. And with impeccability, Ego usually lurks, waiting for that opportunity to twist and turn my thoughts, which eventually leaves me feeling small and insecure. Uggh (insert dramatic shudder here).

And so with these feelings beginning to rise, I sat at the computer screen, just staring at that blank, empty, wordless page. My insides began to turn with panic, when as if by pure telepathic timing, my darling son came and stood by me at the computer. He put both his hands on my cheeks and turned my face sharply so that we were locked eye to eye.

"We need to get out of this house! Let's go do something Mom!!"
I almost protested with "Sure, just let me fini----"   when I thought, finish what? I hadn't even started!!

With M. at camp this week, it was just me and my boy. It is so rare when we are alone and have time together. I shifted my attention and realized that I had a wonderful opportunity to just focus on him. Me and him. So I shut off the computer without another thought, leaving that page still empty, still wordless.

With hunger driving him, I could see the little wheels in my boy's brain start to turn.
"Oh Mom, we can ride our bikes to downtown and eat lunch at the French bakery!! And then we can have ice cream---or nutella crepes!!!"

It was a brilliant idea.

As I sat there on the bike, iphone camera ready as usual, I noticed something. I wasn't feeling the heat as much as I thought I would. The speed of the bike brought a gentle breeze that even a heat index over 100 couldn't prevent. All we had to do was pedal a little faster and coast to let the coolness settle in comfortably. It was such a simple thing to do to overcome something we believed to be so constant.

And then I saw it, and had to stop the bike.

The messages are everywhere if we take the time to see them. But then sometimes the universe throws us a lifeline and says "SEE!!"

I could only smile and chuckle to myself when E. asked me, "What Mom?" I looked at him and said "Tough times don't last." He just looked back at me and said, "Can we go now?"
"Sure, bud."

Tough times don't last. Neither does anxiety. Neither does pressure. Neither does writer's block or any other creative block. Neither does ego's hold. Neither does the time we have with our children. Neither does the breeze in our faces, or the heat on our skin. Niether does fear, or insecurity, and neither does a blank, empty page. And you know what else doesn't last? Nutella crepes :).

Make the best of every moment, because the very best moments are there waiting for you to join in :)...

much love
xx oo