"We are all wanderers on this earth...our hearts are full of wonder, and our souls are deep with dreams." ~ Gypsy proverb

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Not one bit

When I'm driving down the mountain and music fills the spaces all around me
with songs like this:

  Dirty Paws by Of Monsters and Men on Grooveshark

 or this:

 All Alright by fun. on Grooveshark

That's when the right words suddenly pour from some hidden spring buried deep within my brain. Music is the magic tap, always....

Twice in two weeks, it has come up, this wonderful life of mine. A "soccer mom" comment and a "what DO you do all day?"

Maybe it's because I look weightless, burdens safely tucked in the palm of my hand and not strapped to my back. Or maybe it's because I find joy in my living. Or maybe it's because I live like I mean it. Or maybe because I live every day with gratitude. Money does not make me happy, and managing it is my least favorite thing to do. But living like everyday is my last, that's what makes a life a good life. So hell yes, I will paint, I will write, I will take pictures, I will snowboard, hike, learn to do new things and I will do it all while being the best mom and wife that I can be, because that is what I am here to do.

To live, to love and to learn, shamelessly, earnestly, completely.

But I don't say these things out loud, even though I want to. Even though I want to let them know that we made distinct choices before our children were born, that we have paid our dues to have the life we have, to say that my life as a stay-at-home mom is the hardest thing that I have ever done, or explain away all the hours of hard work that my husband continues to do to allow me to be that stay-at-home mom, and that the relationship that we have with our children has been worth every single choice that we've ever made. No, I don't owe them guilt, shame, excuse, or explanation, not anything.

Not. one. bit. :)



  1. absolute
    I hear you sister-freind

    I too have heard the questions, more so since closing the studio. honestly it has taken time to find the response...
    we are questioned when we do something different and hold fast to the outcome of that different
    it takes works and sacrifice to hole the vision
    it is hard to see that when on the outside

    I love what you are doing
    I love what I am doing
    all the choices my husband and I have made....ever so against the grain...has made us better people and stronger marriage an honest family...

    thanks for the beautiful post today MJ

    love and light

  2. I think most moms want to stay at home with their littles. ; )
    The best thing you CAN do is enjoy it! (Think of how many moms are stuck in cubicle offices wishing and dreaming they could be home with their kids.)

    Ultimately, it's how we feel about ourselves that counts and the beautiful thing is that you know that through and through.



  3. Not one bit. :)

    Yes to music unlocking creative power. When I'm stuck thick as mud in my mind I move my computer next to a window that I crack open and start Pandora. Instant flow, every time.


  4. To live, to love and to learn, shamelessly, earnestly, completely.


  5. AMEN! Most days I do little housework to be honest while my daughter is at school. I work on things for me. I relish my alone time. I need it for my sanity. xoxo I've given up worrying what others think I do all day. I'm living!

  6. beautiful post. I'm not a mum, but I think I know what you're talking about :)

  7. MJ, big hugs to you my dear friend. I can so relate to your post today. Mike and I made the same decision years ago for me to stay home with our babies and it is a decision I have never regretted. It amazes me how often I have been judged for my actions which do not affect those who speak the loudestor make the nastiest comment. Oh well, the ones that matter know my heart, the same with you.

  8. I've been there. We decided that I'd be a SAHM from the beginning and I've loved every minute of it. It's a personal decision. If you work full time there are sacrifices. It you stay at home there are sacrifices (money!). We should all be supportive of each other no matter what choices are made.

  9. Not one bit...totally agree with you. I have yet to face any of this, most of the moms I hang with are also stay at home moms, but I am sure as my little man gets older and we venture into the world a little more it will come up.

  10. So glad you are in that place of claiming your decisions! And not feeling the need to explain your decisions to critical people. You're inspiring!
    I've had people ask me that same question "What do you DO all day?" Ahhhhh, they just have no idea.

  11. I hate it when people and their comments make me feel guilty or ashamed about what I do because in all honesty, this hands on full time motherhood thing is the hardest thing I've ever done and the biggest sacrifice I've ever made. I can't even begin to count the sacrifices we've made to do this but I'm with you, worth every single one.

  12. this is why i have been attracted to your spirit from the start: you live shamelessly.


  13. Boo-yah! I think that no matter what your "occupation" is defined as, you have hit the nail on the head. We need to live and be the best versions of our selves at all times. xo

  14. Certainly not...for you will never walk this way again.

    Respect and admiration for you MJ!

    1. "you will never walk this way again". What a stunning comment, it stopped me in my tracks.

  15. I wouldn't have it any other way. ;-)

  16. xox mj. all that matters is what you and husband think. when i was a young stay at home mother, a rare thing then, i felt upset too at the judgements. it took time (and a divorce which forced me into the workplace, while single parenting)to feel only gratitude for the time i was able to stay at home, where my heart always is.
    how sweet your hubs is :)

  17. I'm a longtime lurker but felt moved to comment today. I think those who judge are not really happy with their choices. I'm back at work full time having been a SAHM - it makes me unhappy and that unhappiness can be turned outwards as bitterness towards others if you don't catch yourself. Sometimes I catch myself thinking- bah what is that person moaning about, she gets to stay home and do her thang?! And I am someone who know how hard (and joyful) it is! It's ugly but real - glad to hear you are letting it wash over ya and living your life unapolegetically. You know the judgement is never about you, and always about them, right?

  18. Oh mama. You are my hero. This is pure joy....XXOO


“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
~ George Bernard Shaw