I love.

I love dreamcatchers, feathers, and watching birds do what they do.

I love the colors of Colorado sunsets, shades of blue and green much like the sea.

I love big, clunky rings on my fingers, especially those of turquoise and silver.

I love Reese's cups still.

I love tea at night with a bit of honey.

I love alliterated words that pop unpredictably into my head like platypus, pitter patter, and panacea.

I love everything about books, the way they smell, the way they feel in my hands, the way a page sounds when it turns, and the way I can get lost without ever leaving home.

I love random acts of kindness, the way someone opens the door for you, gives you a smile, or brings you something you need without ever having asked them.

I love hearing my daughter call me "Fluffy".

After he's all tucked in at bedtime and should go to sleep, I love how my son tries to get more hugs and kisses by calling from his room "Mom, can you come back here?......Mom! I'm bleeding.......my finger's broken.......MOM, I'm paralyzed!!!!!"

I love microns and sharpies in a jar.

I love journals, old, new, handmade, lined or unlined, floppy or hardcover, they all make my heart do cartwheels.

I love the smell of verbena and lemongrass, pine and cypress.

I love soy lattes in the morning.

I love kale sauteed with olive oil, garlic, lemon and a little bit of soy sauce.

I love paper calendars and planners, despite the invasion of iCal and Google.

I love fall weather for soft, oversized cowls and knee high boots.

I love the sound of silence in the woods.

I love how leaves say goodbye.

I love crisp November skies, so clear that every cloud sculpted and feathered by the wind is a gift to the eyes.

I love that in 10 minutes I can write without hesitation just a smidge of what I love so much.

I love the promise of all that we have yet to discover. The unknowing makes anything possible. The burning hunger and passion to keep seeking, keep learning, and keep dreaming. To never forsake that we still have so much to love despite knowing that we may never quite fully possess all that we are capable of.



much love to all of you

xoxo

Glittering eyes

October faded in a blink. Pictures are all that I have left of that spirited month and even now when I see them, I still daydream about the in-between. I do kiss my life and I do watch with glittering eyes for all the magic this plane and the plane beyond can muster. I step knee deep into the clouds and glide across the pages of my life leaving trails with my fingers and pen. The magic that we create ourselves is often the magic we miss because we find it easier in others--other lives, others' gifts, others' haves, others' accomplishments. October, as fast as it moved through me, brought me face to face with some of my own fears, as well as some of my own gifts, and even, some of my own magic. How lucky we are to even just catch a glimpse of our own cosmic luminescence. Vast and expansive, every last sparkle is our own to give.

Much love to you friends...

xoxo

Never get tired

I never get tired of deer in my yard, of how they just blink blankly at me while I awe at them. I never get tired of searching the skies for some special surprise~ a red-tailed hawk, clouds scattered like feathers, hot-air balloons roaming at dawn.
I never get tired of watching the old Chevys putter around town. I covet them, especially the one that is colored Robin's Egg blue.  And I never get tired of Fall or Halloween, or the excitment this time of year brings to the little faces around me. Together we relish in the cozy smell of burning wood, crispy leaves, pumpkin spice and caramel apples, sending me into a feverish frenzy of baking, decorating, and buying scarves I don't need.  We are in earth's annual call to huddle close and celebrate the last gifts she has to bring before she goes quiet for the winter. May I never tire of or take these gifts for granted :).

Much love to you this Friday

xoxo

Chasing light

Light:

1) A cat on a harness and leash. We didn't declaw our cat, we adopted him that way. Yet I couldn't help feeling so badly for him as his howls begging to go outside just squeezed my heart so earnestly. And so now he has supervised visits and he beams :).

2) A losing team winning an entire tournament. It's true, up until this weekend, my son's soccer team has lost every single game. This weekend, they played 4 teams in two days and left undefeated, with medals and a trophy. And yes, we all were beaming :).

3) Signs to push forward. Ever since I wrote that post last week on writing, I've been getting signals beginning with this in my inbox the very next day. That knot in my stomach has always been the edge of the precipice, an extreme feeling of discomfort like I'm going to gag any minute, and the compelling desire to fiercly protect my fragile ego. It is the bondage to being human we are all born with. I have failed so many times, I wonder why it never gets easier? The good news is that I am here and I am still writing and for me, that still counts.

4) Art retreat!!!!  For anyone that loves making things, from novice to expert, art retreats are balms for the creative soul. If you have been reading here awhile then you may remember how Squam had a significant impact on me over a year ago.Well how lucky am I that a woman named Ali decided to create an art retreat for those of us here in the west. The Makerie art retreat was founded here in Boulder a few years ago and this Spring, I will be attending. If you are a tiny bit interested, there are 3 opportunities to attend, including one in NYC. And if you do sign up, please let me know!!!

5) In the same vein, a longtime blog friend Claudine of Becoming Claudine is hosting her 2nd annual Gladsome retreat in the Great Lakes region. Claudine is one of kindest, most down to earth bloggers I have met out here, and I can only imagine that her retreat will be full of creative spark, warmth and connection. She had wonderful success last year and I wish her even more this fall. I will be headed to Florida so I won't make it, but it is my great hope to attend one day :). Lots of love to you Claudine!

Wishing you a great week...
xoxo

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
~ Brené Brown

Weekending....

I am here.

I am here, present among the pines and the wood that sinks deep beneath the surface. I dance in the mist that blankets heavy, waiting for the light that will break and scatter me along the grains of sand and stone.

In the armchair that nature has carved for me,
I will sit, and behold the sandwiched layers of time spread out before me,
I will listen, for the fleeting echos of ancient whispers by land, by animal, by river, by wind and rain, that sings for the caged spirit within.
I will watch, with scouring eyes for the next glimpse of magic that colors the sky, then gaze in awe at the life I've been given to witness such incredible things...

And it dropped out of the sky like paint dripping from a can. They ran out to meet it in search of gold and treasure, riches as far as the imagination can stretch. They said they coudn't find any. Look again, my darlings.

It's been awhile, I know, but there is no excuse. Life has been magical.

Cheers to you this Friday...

Painted stones

He politely puts his paw on my face every morning, rumbling low, hoping that soon I will wake to see him waiting.

We collect plume, my daughter and I. The brilliance always leave me thirsty. Ohh to see his magnificence!! To watch him take flight! Never in the wild have I seen him fly, not yet. But like a dream I wait, patiently, I wait.

The aches in the working muscles of my fingers tell me it's never too late. There are new memories being made here. A daily meditation, a welcomed vibration, like the beat of a drum against my chest. From the inside, or the outside? It's the same either way.

She colors everything she touches, that girl, leaving a trail more beautiful and less ordinary than before she arrived.

There are painted stones everywhere, ripples made by the most insignificant actions. We aren't meant to feel them all, but when I do, I swear, I can feel the earth move...

Happy Friday and weekend to you...

xoxo

Going...going...

The cake part deux? The cinnamon candies I received only Wednesday ?

The blooms, Spring, the kids' youths...

my youth...

my morning coffee

the book I just finished...

another week,
another day...

My point, hehe...

Fit it in, fit it all in, even when it seems it might drive you mad. Every blink, every bird call, every bite, every book, every thought, every word we write, every piece of creativity we pour from our minds through our tools, marks a magical moment from our one treasured life.

If I can remember that everything counts, everything, then nothing is wasted.

Nothing.

Much love to you today and everyday

xoxo

ps. Adding to Bella's 52 Photo's Project {Stripes}

pss. Thanks for all the support in finding cake #2, it was delicious, made by here

This place

This place...this place that we have called home for over a year....This place...this place that gave us our first taste of life in Colorado, a place where I so willingly and eagerly planted roots. This place that gave us a wonderful neighborhood full of children and kind people, a place from where we could walk or bike to the store, to trails, to dinner, or to the farmer's market downtown. This place that allowed us to watch our children play safely outside on a quiet street, to have neighbors regularly say "Hey, your kids are welcome to eat with us tonight..."

This tiny little place was never to be our forever home, but it was a place that I thought would hold us just a little longer...But now it's time to say good-bye...

I am mourning deeply my friends, for not just a home and a village, but also for a year that changed our lives completely. We are moving only a few minutes away but the loss feels so much greater. It will be a year that I will never ever forget.

So the moving insanity has found me again...
I hope to show you pics of the new place soon.


Thank you faithful readers for always coming back, knowing you are still here keeps me going and makes me smile..

see you soon

xoxo

the dance floor

Simple.

I will be dancing
with her this weekend,
twirling her around
in my fingers,
and sashaying arm and arm
with her around our wooden floor,
dust bunnies not too far behind.

I will do what needs to be done
without over-thinking,
without overdoing,
without resenting
that both kids are sick again,
that the Mr. is sick, too...

Because it's Friday,
because it's February,
because the sun is out,
because I can still write to you
and tell you what I'm thinking...

Because mindfully shooting our life through a lens
opens a brand new door,
reminding me that even with sniffles,
fevers, and stomach pains,
I can still invite
happy,
grateful,
and
simple
to prance along
our dance floor.

Wishing you a happy and healthy weekend with a little dancing in between :)....

xoxo

Sway

I needed this long weekend badly. I've slowed from a rampant rabbity run to a turtle's rhythmic and grounding sway. If I pause long enough, I can hear my heart skip a beat on the truly remarkable things. The hairs on my arm will stand on end, reaching for the vibrations that escape the naked eye. The smell of acrylic on canvas, the sound of a paint brush as it fills the grooves. Painting together, my children and I shared wordlessly in these wonders. They did not see me beaming in my quiet joy.

It was the girl's birthday party this weekend. Friends and neighbors joined in and my happiness for her swirled endlessly like the white curls on her beautiful birthday cake. Yes, it has been a very good weekend.



I've been looking upon myself with gentler eyes lately. Fear has been unusually quiet and I wonder what I've done to deserve this reprieve. Perhaps it's not a question of deserving, but more a condition of ripening as the worthy journey of finding voice and flow continues. Faith does have a way of helping us forget that we were once afraid to fly. And I find myself leaning in further as the long yellow petals of bloom reaches for me still.

Monday love to you, and Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day...

xoxo

Weekending with  Amanda...

ps. thanks for all your lovely words on my last post!!

Bring it

Bring it I say.

The harried-mess -ness that comes with the holidays

The fullness that comes with too much food

The hair-pulling that comes with noise

The peace that comes with gratitude

The love that comes with family

The joy that comes with friendship

The softness that comes with silence 

The shadows that come with light

The sadness that comes with goodbyes

I. Am. Ready.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all...

xoxo

Good

Sunset shot, courtesy of the boy...

I found it amusing to look over and see the kids studiously reviewing the cards as the flight attendants were doing their safety routine.

We've only been back for a day and Mom has already taught the kids how to make a mini Japanese container garden. They loved doing it and I loved watching them together...

And it was then that I felt a pang of---what---is there a word for that?  A feeling that holds not regret or sadness,  maybe sentiment? Where I don't regret anything, but still miss what could be? If there isn't a word for this, I/someone needs to invent one as it will surface often this week.

It is good to be back in Orlando. It's good to feel the love from family and friends who are eager to make time for us. It's good to be on familiar roads and look forward to familiar restaurants. (Sidetrack: Did you know that Orlando has a large Vietnamese population and in my humble opinion, has some of the best Vietnamese restaurants I've ever had? Nothing in Colorado compares so far).

Yesterday I ran into an old friend that I use to work with 10 years ago, it was good to see her too.

As hard as it can be sometimes, it's good to miss something isn't it. We appreciate them better, and make the time we do have more meaningful. The kids are learning this and it brings me so much joy to see them with the ones that love them so much.

I know I state the obvious, I'm good at that. It's good to be good at something ;).

Have a good- fabulous weekend...

xoxo